What’s with the shared mentality of being sick all the time? 

 

There’s always something going around - something new to dread - something everyone’s talking about - taking precautions against - having their children vaccinated for! 

 

Have you ever tried having a conversation with someone that didn’t involve talking about their medication or ailing health?  It’s quite a struggle!

 

There’s always some new and improved illness creating a wave of panic in the minds of… Oh, just about every living soul on the planet!

 

If the average person has approximately 60,000 thoughts a day, what huge percentage of them are focused on the individual’s declining health!   

 

Every conversation is the same!  You feel it coming on!  You’ve already caught it!  Or at the very least, you’re making a concentrated effort to prevent it.

 

Much to my displeasure, I had to visit my doctor recently to have him complete some routine paperwork.  It came as no surprise that even with an appointment, I waited over two hours in the reception area before being lead to another room where I was then delighted to wait another forty-five minutes before the doctor came in to sign a single sheet of paper. 

 

Failing to bring a book of “healthy” reading to occupy my mind, I instead watched the steady stream of people parade in and out of the cramped waiting room.  Some coughed and gagged as they entered but at least were polite enough to finish their cigarette outside before joining us.  Others clasp a bag of drugs tightly against their chest as they hobbled across the floor in search of an empty seat.  Many chattered happily to the sickly person next to them.  Yacking on incessantly, they described every gruesome detail of their ailment for the entire room to hear.  Then there were the few like myself, that appeared so perfectly healthy that one could only wonder why they would actually volunteer to spend the afternoon in such a negative, germ infested environment. 

 

As one who focuses entirely on perfect health, I squirmed in my chair anticipating the moment I could escape from that aura of sick, negative energy.  I spent two hours trying not to inhale for the most part, wanting to avoid the contaminated air the room was being filled with.

 

“Good Bye Joan!  Have a nice day!” the nurse shouted to a woman as she left.  “See you next Monday!”

 

“Wow!” I thought.  “Joan must be a regular!  She’s already planning on being sick again next week!” 

 

But then again, with the disease infested mindset that most people have and the lengthy time you have to wait to see a doctor, it’s probably a good idea to pre-book appointments for each week just to save yourself some time!

 

I considered picking up a magazine to distract myself from the infected area I was trapped in but couldn’t convince myself to touch anything in the room.  So instead I scanned the multitude of documents that surrounded me in order to pass the time.  And what an enlightening experience that turned out to be! 

 

If a person wasn’t sick, debilitated, infected or paranoid before inspecting the walls of this self proclaimed “Health Centre” – they certainly would be after.  A vast array of posters, photos, articles, bulletins and warnings literally overwhelmed the mind.  It besieged an otherwise healthy psyche as to how susceptible we all are to Cancer, Diabetes, Osteoporosis, Hepatitis and a host of other most unpleasant disorders.

 

But since I’d already conditioned my mind to believe in absolute perfect health, disgust rather than paranoia was my gut reaction.    

 

There wasn’t a document in the building that promoted perfect physical and mental health!  Not a single piece of paper had so much as a smattering even remotely hinting that you could live a life of total wellness.  Every article, write-up and blotch of ink was a convincingly warning of  How ill you are – How ill you’re gonna be – How worried you should be or How quickly you’d better start preventing it!”

 

 “Are you at risk of a fracture?” a poster questioned.

 

OMG!  If a person wasn’t sick or dying on the way into that place, they certainly would be on the way out!  And not only do otherwise sane, educated, mature adults buy into this pathetic mindset of illness, they teach their children to as well. 

 

As a die-hard believer in the power of the mind, I’ve studied the “Law of Attraction,” the “Law of Belief” and the power of the subconscious mind in great detail.  In short, few people realize they are constantly sick or injured as a matter of their own doing!

 

The Law of Attraction is the most powerful law of the universe and yet so few realize it.  People buy-in to the Law of Gravity as being true, but dismiss universal laws that are far more powerful than it as hocus-pocus voodoo nonsense. 

 

But believe it or not it’s been scientifically proven over and over again!  So here it is in a nutshell:

 

“You are… What you think about all day!”

 

If you dwell upon illness, it’s simple!  You will get illness!

 

If you dwell upon debt and poverty, it’s simple!  You will get debt and poverty!

 

If you dwell upon perfect health and fitness, it’s more than simple!  You will get perfect health and fitness!

 

The subconscious mind never sleeps.  It manages your heart beat, your breathing, your circulation, your digestion, your elimination and every other regular function of the body without you ever thinking about it.  But it also brings to life or manifests everything your conscious mind believes to be true. 

 

If you worry about getting Diabetes… here’s a shocker… You will get it!

 

You get whatever you think about all day long!  And that’s the fact Jack! 

 

It is scientifically proven!  But don’t take my word for it, do some research for yourself!

 

So here’s one for you…

 

As an act of empathy and kindness millions of people raise billions of dollars to “Fight against” Cancer, Diabetes, MS, Domestic Violence and much more.  They think they are stomping out these horrible diseases and problems with their efforts and their money.  But what their focused attention is actually doing…. is creating more of what you are fighting against. 

 

“What you focus on… Expands!” 

 

As well-meaning people focus their mindset on these terrible diseases they are actually creating more of them!  It’s the way it all works!  Do your own research on this concept.  Read some credible scientific proof! 

 

Then do a quick analysis of your own daily thoughts.  What do you think about all day long?  What do you spend hours dwelling on, mulling over, worrying about, and fearing?  Illness?  Debt?  Loss?  Lack? 

 

My beloved reader, based on vast research and personal experience, what you focus on expands!  You will get what you think about all day long!

 

How sick is that?

 

 

It’s now a real stretch to find a medical professional, a magazine, an article or a circle of people that believe in the true power of the mind and 100% wellness.  I don’t mean the mindset of “Preventing” something.  I mean the mindset where not a single doubt enters the realm of your imagination, not a single thought other than those on how to live in perfect wellness creeps into your mind – Ever!

 

 

 

If you focus on perfect health and nothing else… You will get it!

 

If you focus on “Breast Wellness” instead of “Breast Cancer”… You will get it!

 

If only people understood how the “Law of Attraction” works.  It is unbiased.  It is inflexible.  It works for good thoughts and for bad!  It works for sickness and for perfect health. 

 

You “become” what you think about all day!

 

You are not a victim in life! 

 

You and your thoughts can create a life of total health and massive abundance. 

 

But I assure you – You will only see it…. When you start to think it!

 

Think healthy! 

 

Be healthy!

 

_______________________________________

 

Purchase your copy of the sensational new release,

“The Remarkable Perfect You!”

A Starter’s Guide To Freedom!  A Journey Back To Your Greatness!

 

Get Yours Today!

www.judymacpherson.com

 

2011 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

For permission to use this article inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

 

We exist in a world that seems to be spinning so fast we hardly have time to breathe.  Everyone is so incredibly busy which is why I consider the following question to be of great value.  It is a question I hope you’ll think about in relation to your own life.

 

 

Do you ever serve others? 

 

 

Do you give back to society in someway… anyway at all?

  

 

If so, do you do it as a large part of your time or on a very occasional basis?  

 

When and if you do serve others, do you do it without expecting anything in return for your efforts?  Do you help others but yet have no personal agenda when you do?

 

Do you wish for others to receive goodness, abundance, health, fulfillment and riches even more than you want it all for yourself?

 

Please hold those thoughts while I digress for a moment…

 

It seems that these days, everyone on the planet is taking anti-depressants.  At least in my world, everyone seems to be suffering from some degree of depression.   

 

I can sadly admit to being one of these vital statistics as I remind you once again that I write what I’ve lived, now I live what I write. 

 

Twenty-five years ago I found myself in such a defeated position in life, the only solution I could find at the time was to get a prescription for anti-depressants and then go back to bed. 

 

My life seemed to be closing in on me emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.  In fact there was a time that I didn’t leave my home for almost two years.  My dark seedy mind was busy focusing on nothing but the pathetic mental state I was in at that time. 

 

I interpreted everything going on around me to mean that the world was laughing at my failures, taunting my defeated position in life.  I was the biggest loser on the planet… and everyone knew it!  At least that’s what I caused myself to believe for a very long, dark time.  It seemed as though life just wasn’t going to give me a break!

 

In looking back now, I clearly see that I came to believe that my very troubled world was the entire world!  It never dawned on me that people had other things to concern themselves with and by no means were they spending their time laughing at me. 

 

Depression is a dark place to dwell and staying there for any great length of time can cost you your life. 

 

I look back on that sorry mental state as an extremely selfish time in my life.  Me!  Me!  Me!  Me!  Me! 

 

Don’t you know how badly I am hurting?  Don’t you care that I would rather just crawl into a ball and disappear?  Don’t you know how disappointed I am with the way life has turned out?  Me!  Me!  Me!  Me!  Me!  Poor, poor me! 

 

I’d wake up everyday, feel like crap, vomit, then look like crap, shove another pill down my throat then go back to bed.  This sickening ritual of mine went on for months.   

 

I’d eventually crawl out of this black hole of inner despair, make another go at life, fail at it then dive back into the pills a few months later.  It was a great place to hide from reality!  More anti-depressants, more vomiting, more lost time and lots more “Poor Poor me!”

 

The glitch that I found in taking anti-depressants was that they only masked my problems.  In other words, when you eventually stop taking the pills the problems are still there waiting for you right where you left them.  I now believe that it’s just plain easier and much better for your health to just solve the problems in the first place and fore-go the pills! 

 

If I could go back now and talk to the woman I was then, I believe the conversation would go something like this…

 

So Judy…

 

It is indeed disappointing that life hasn’t turned out the way you’d hoped.  But my advice to you right now is to get out of bed immediately! 

 

Get yourself dressed!  Get in your car and do not come home until you have found a way to spend some time serving others in need.  And you must do it with all of your heart and you must receive nothing in return for your effort! 

 

You must learn to serve others for not just one day, but everyday for the rest of your life.  Serving others now must account for 25% of your time.  It’s time to get the focus off of yourself and your own pity party and openly serve someone who needs your help right now! 

 

• Maybe it will be emotionally by listening to someone who needs a friend. 

 

• Maybe you will drive someone to the hospital that needs chemotherapy. 

 

• Maybe you will read stories to kids or sit on the floor and play games with dying patients in a children’s hospital. 

 

• Maybe you will plant a garden of flowers at a senior citizens residence. 

 

• Maybe you will help a struggling single mom by entertaining her kids for a couple of hours so she can get some rest! 

 

• Maybe you will sit on the curb in the snow and pray with someone who is homeless.

 

The list of ideas of how to serve others is endless!  And I’m quite certain Judy, that somewhere on this list you can find an area in which you’ll enjoy serving others.  And while you are doing this, you will not only take the focus off of yourself and all of your terrible problems in life, but you will feel a level of fulfillment that you’ve likely not experience before! 

 

You will also quickly come to realize, that your problems are likely not quite so bad after all because you don’t have to travel far to find someone with a much bigger problem than you have.   

 

So stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about how you can help others.  Once you do, you’ll be simply amazed at how your life changes for the better!

 

Now get up Judy!  And get going!

 

____________________

 

What does “Serving Others” really mean?

 

There are lots of folks who volunteer for things like sitting on the town council or the community library board.  Others volunteer by coaching sports or by cleaning their child’s gymnastic club.  But they are immediately disqualified from the list if their mission of serving others has a personal agenda attached to it. 

 

Yes!  I clean my daughter’s gymnastic club because it gets me a reduction in the fees that I pay. 

 

Yes!  I am on the town council so I can push my own ideas into power.  This not only feeds my enormous ego, but gives people the false perception that I am important in the community. 

 

Yes!  I am on the hockey executive because now I can assure that my son will get the MVP award for his team!

 

No!   No!  No!  None of this counts as truly serving others!  No personal agenda can be attached!  You can receive nothing but fulfillment from your selfless effort.

 

I know a woman who is single, never married, no children.  All her decisions are her own.  She decides where she lives, when she travels, how money is spent, how time is managed, who she hangs with, what TV shows to watch etc…   

 

One would look at this woman’s life and ask what on earth she had to be depressed about.  No one is dominating or forcing his upon her.  No one is beating or abusing her.  She’s had a life of absolute freedom.  What on earth would cause this woman to depend upon high doses of anti-depressants just to get through her day? 

 

Perhaps it’s because the only thing she has to think about is herself!  Perhaps it’s because she does absolutely nothing to serve others in need.  Zero time is invested in anyone other than herself and therefore her world in her mind has become very small and very sad indeed!  Me!  Me!  Me!  Me!  Me!  Poor poor me!  This woman is single handedly keeping the drug companies in business.  If only she would reach out and help someone else!  If only she could get her mind off herself, I’d be willing to bet that soon the pills would no longer be necessary and her life would take on a whole new meaning!

 

Now I remind you, I am a full-fledged believer in the power of the mind.  I believe the mind can heal the body completely without exception if permitted.  But let me clarify – your mind can heal your body to the degree that YOU believe it can!  Your personal belief system dictates your degree of wellness and nothing else can change that!  If you focus on illness – you will get illness!  If you focus on perfect health – you will get it! 

 

I’ve lived it!  I’ve proven it and reams of scientific research now support it!   

 

What is your mindset?  Do you focus on perfect health and serving others or is your tormented inner world… the entire world?

 

I ask you again.  What is it that you do on a daily basis that selflessly serves others?

 

On your dying day, what will your explanation be on how you gave back to this planet and how many lives you touched for the better?  What will your answer be?

 

The day we can all respond with a long list of achievements is the day this planet will be healthy and glorious indeed!

 

 

Check out:  www.judymacpherson.com

 

________________________

 

Hoping to jar you out of your comfort zone!

Check back next week for a new thought provoking post!

 

2012 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

For permission to use this article, inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

 

 

 

 

In hindsight, calling it “pain” was a gross understatement. 

 

The words “fear” or “abuse” don’t even come close. 

 

A twisted life of psychological terror and sadistic physical cruelty may be somewhere near the truth.  But even then… not quite there yet! 

 

Being a kid in my house was tough!  One just never knew who would be next, what they were in store for or why.  Some called it “walking on eggshells”.  But to me, it was more like treading in a cesspool of churning gut-rut!  And we survived there for years!

 

There was never a break and there was indeed vile danger for us all.  Not only physical danger, but the emotional scarring that this lifestyle left in its wake became a prison sentence that held us captive for decades.  We were taught that we were all inferior to him.  We were worthless… and we all knew it!  There was simply no doubt to be found.  

 

We lived with his undying threat that if we told anyone, disobeyed him or ran, then he would hunt us down and either kill us or make our lives a “living hell”. 

 

This “living hell” he promised… was not far from the truth.  

 

My life of degradation continued for many years.  My self-esteem, confidence and self-worth were stripped from my branches and used as kindling wood for the raging inferno that stoked his illness.  He continued to perfect his psychotic mind games as only a master could.  Being hammered into submission day after day, year after year, I came to know my lowly place on this planet.  

 

My family didn’t “break up” in the years that followed… it “blew up!”  It exploded and shattered into a million pieces.  But for the Grace of God, I eventually escaped from that life of torment only to begin the struggle of trying to make it on own in a world that I knew nothing about.  Back in those days, I was terrified of absolutely everything and nothing seemed to come easy for me. 

 

Then after a few years of struggle… my telephone rang at 3:00 a.m. on Tuesday, April 15th, 1987.  It was a call that chills me to the bone to this very day.  It was one of those pivotal phone calls that sharply reminded a person that before it came, their problems were miniscule.

 

My father’s voice quivered through the receiver as he explained to me that there had been a spectacular car crash on a local highway.  That numbing phone call changed my life forever!  It changed my purpose.  It changed my destiny.  It totally changed my views on life…  for it nearly caused me to end my own.

 

In spite of everything I had endured to that point, I’d never known such emptiness.  Nothing even came close to how much this loss hurt.  My gut felt like bleeding, raw flesh.  My heart had been carved out of my chest.  For months after the accident I could hardly breathe as my body dealt with the severe distress through relentless vomiting and violent convulsions. 

 

This unspeakable sorrow continued for what seemed like forever until finally I had absolutely nothing left.  I was completely hollow inside… and this time… I had truly hit bottom!  

 

But this time I was certain that I couldn’t get back up again.

 

If life on this planet is indeed meant for our soul growth and we grow richly from adversity and failure, then I’m sure I had been fast-tracking in the accelerated course.  

 

It was about then that I found myself wondering if there wasn’t supposed to be more to this life.  Surely God didn’t intend for us to be in that much emotional pain and turmoil forever.  There just had to be more.  There just had to be something better, something more meaningful.  “Pain” could simply not be the basis of my existence because if it was, then I was ready to throw in the towel and forfeit the rest of the game.

 

So there I stood. A tiny broken person at the base of the massive mountain called “Recovery”.  I stood there for what seemed like years, alone and in silence.  I gazed way upward while my eyes searched frantically for the peaks.  But the mountain was so big and steep that the glorious pinnacles that I searched for were hidden by dense clouds.  But still, I just knew they had to be up there.  I knew there had to be a better life somewhere, a life that didn’t hurt quite so much.  It had to exist.  If only I could find it.

 

I knew that the mountain before me symbolized a difficult journey of recovery back to who I was when I first came into this world.  I knew it would be tough and take a long time and that I was ill-equipped for the challenge.  But I just had to believe that the majestic peaks found at the end of the journey indicated that happiness, fulfillment, love, joy, forgiveness, abundance, success and soul growth were there for the taking for those who had the courage to climb. 

 

Those peaks were there.  I just couldn’t see them from where I was standing at that moment.

 

And then in July of 1989, it finally came to me somehow from somewhere that all I needed to have to start this journey up the mountain and search for a better life was a little faith… just a tiny bit of faith.  That was all I needed.  So I dug deep down into the depths of my fragmented soul and pulled out a tiny sliver of belief.  And then, seeing no better option in the foreseeable future and really having nothing left to lose… I took the chance and started the climb!

 

Since then, I have trudged miles and miles up the mountain of recovery.  And true enough, just as I was lead to believe in the beginning, though the journey is a tough one, I have reached some of the most beautiful peaks imaginable.  Life can be a wonderful, fulfilling experience with more joy and abundance than you can imagine!  The perfect health is there!  The success and money are there!  The loving relationships are there!  It’s all right there.  And there’s plenty of it!  More than enough for everyone!

 

Restoring your belief system to its original divine certainty of how “truly great you are” can take some time.  For some of us, depending upon the severity of damage that was done, it may take longer than for others.  But I commit to you it is very possible!  If I can do it then so can you!  

 

I lived it!  I overcame it!  Now I teach it!

 

The air is fresh and clean up here!  I do hope you’ll join me! 

Let’s get started!

 

Check out:  www.judymacpherson.com

 

___________________

 

Check back next week for a new thought provoking post!

2012 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

For permission to use this article, inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

Do you ever ask “Why?” 

 

Do you ever challenge an outcome, be-it a conversation, a business issue or a coach’s decision to cut your kid from the volleyball team? 

 

Do you ever step out of the crowd, put yourself on the line and hold people accountable for their actions? 

 

Have you ever been dissatisfied with the food or service at a restaurant but refused to challenge the establishment on its poor quality?  Instead you just paid the bill and left quietly.

 

Don’t you just love getting diet and fitness advice from someone who is 80 lbs overweight?

 

How about that family member who constantly gives you sound financial advice, but he himself lives on the verge of bankruptcy?

 

Have you grown tired of someone’s demanding, degrading behaviour but still you subject your good nature to it as if you have no choice?

 

Do you ever ask yourself “Why?”  Why am I puting up with it all!

 

Why am I allowing this? 

Why am I subjecting myself to this? 

Why am I paying for something but getting no value?

Why am I tolerating something that doesn’t even make sense anymore?

 

WHY?  

 

Do you ever ask other people “Why?”  

Do you ever hold people accountable for their actions toward you?

If not… then why not? 

Why don’t you hold people accountable for their actions?   

 

Why do people assume that because someone else is older or has been doing something longer, they know everything there is to know and should never be questioned?  Why do we just accept them as always being right?  Why don’t we challenge things in our lives more of the time?  

 

The answer…  well my guess is… human insecurity and fear.

 

I’m of the opinion that for the most part, the world is suffering from a dire lack of self-love and personal confidence. 

 

And so, what do people do when they have doubt in themselves, in their thinking or their abilities? 

 

Well, rather than exposing this weakness, they find someone else they can fill this need through or at least hide their insecurities behind. 

 

“What I lack in myself, I will seek in someone else! 

Or at least… hide behind them so no one will know how incapable I am!”

 

Human insecurity causes people to ban together. 

 

In other words… When in doubt about yourself… go over and stand with a big group of people who APPEAR to have the answer and confidence you are lacking.  At least that way, you’ll LOOK like you know what you’re doing even if you don’t… or better yet… maybe you’ll not be noticed at all! 

 

Take the road that everyone travels and whether it makes sense to you or not, whether you agree with it or not, adopt the mighty collective opinion of the masses.  

 

In my mind, it’s a pitiful way of thinking… but it’s the way of our world!  People don’t LIVE life… they HIDE from it!  Haunted by the notion that they’re not good enough, smart enough, strong enough or loved enough, they hide among the masses and the colossal group opinion that goes with it, hoping no one will notice they’re there.  They don’t question others.  They don’t challenge a soul!  They demand nothing!  They merely accept the pitance that life hands to them as that of all they are worthy of!

 

But I ask you…

Didn’t we come to this planet for more?  Didn’t we come here to learn, develop and grow? 

 

Of course we did!  And in order to learn, develop and grow WE MUST FIRST MAKE MISTAKES! 

 

Mistakes are a beautiful thing!  Making mistakes means you’ve got good stuff going on in your life!  Making mistakes means that you’re moving and shakin’, you’re causing stuff to happen, you’re learning, growing and changing.  Making mistakes means you’re not hiding beneath a rock shaking with fear, terrified that the world will soon find out that you may not be perfect!

 

We didn’t come here to be perfect!  We came here to expose our weaknesses and then learn and grow from them!  But unfortunately that’s not what society and especially the educational system for that matter promote.  They promote “not” making mistakes.  They promote being “perfect” every time or you will be subject to the painful price of ridicule and embarrassment!  They promote “conforming” to group opinion.  They promote standing in line with all the others forbidding you to step forward, speak up or be different in any way!

 

This powerful group opinion that most people buy into as “being right” is what I will call (for lack of a better word) “The Status Quo.”  If you hide within the opinion of the status quo and adopt the beliefs that everyone in it feels are right, then you’ll be safe from confrontation and ridicule.  If you hide among the masses you’ll avoid ever being wrong because everyone will think just like you!

 

It’s like an enormous herd of cattle plodding along a road which inevitably leads to no-where.  Not a single member of the herd knows where it’s going and not a single one asks.  Each creature  fumbles along blindly taking comfort in knowing that he doesn’t have to lead anyone anywhere.  It’s just plain easier to follow behind the other guy, to take the path that everyone else has already travelled.     

 

Though the consensus of the Status Quo often makes no rational sense at all, if this gigantic group attitude says that something is okay…. then heck…it must be okay!  And indeed it is okay, because this enormous collective opinion confirmed that it was so! 

 

Studying the attitude, control and pressure of this assembly of the blind leading the blind, has left me with little doubt that there is definitely power in numbers!  It is very often destructive power… but none-the-less it is power!  It dictates economic trends in what is cool or not cool, where you should live or not live, what you should wear, where you should shop, work and eat.  It tells you how to spend your money, what illness is currently most fashionable, how your body should look and how many kids to have.  The mighty group opinion dictates everything that your life should be… both good and bad!  And billions of people buy into this nonsense everyday!  Billions of people are broke, unfulfilled and sick.  Billions of people spend their entire working life in emotional agony pleading for the first day of their retirement to arrive. 

 

But why?  Why do they do it?  Why do they buy into the garbage opinion of The Status Quo instead of putting value on their own thoughts?  Why don’t they instead demand more from life?  Why don’t they question and challenge decisions, situations and other people?  Why don’t they go out on a limb and take chances that may better their lives?  Why don’t they step out of line or speak up when being cheated, mislead or wronged?

 

Why, why, why… Because they want to be accepted.  Because not making mistakes, not causing a fuss and being accepted by others is far more important to them.

 

Because what they lack in themselves, they will seek in someone else! 

Because they’ve run low on self-love, confidence, worth and belief in their own abilities.

Because they’re afraid, absolutely terrified to make mistakes, be laughed at or go-it alone!

 

My beloved reader…

 

Do you challenge things when they make no sense to you?

 

Do you ever ask why?

 

Do you stand apart from the crowd? 

 

Do you demand the best out of life? 

 

 

Believe in yourself, your ability, your opinions and your greatness! 

 

You are here to make mistakes then blossom, learn and grow from them! 

 

You are here to live life not hide from it!

 

Step out of the box!  Strike out on your own path!  Live your life with passion and curiosity! 

 

Who cares what other people think or say.  You are driving your own bus! 

 

Take chances, step out of line, be different, live the life of your dreams.  Dare to challenge others.  Dare to ask WHY.  

 

And for goodness sake…

Love yourself entirely!   

 

Believe in who you are and all that you came here to accomplish!

 

Make positive change in your life today!

You are worthy of so much more!  

 

So let’s… GET ON WITH IT! 

We don’t get another chance at living today!

 

_______________________

 

Check back next week for another thought provoking post!

 

As always…

I endeavour to jarr you from your comfort zone and encourage positive change in your life TODAY!  Life can be pain-free, fulfilling and so incredibly fun! 

 

2012 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

For permission to use this article, inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

 

 

He was 42 years old and he died on a warm spring evening in May.  With groceries in hand, he entered the front door of his home as he’d done a million times before.  But this time, suddenly and most unexpectedly, he buckled over with agonizing chest pain, fell to his knees, collapsed on the tile beneath his feet and died.

 

He wasn’t what I would call a celebrity in that quaint little town yet everyone knew him.  Instead, he was known as just your all around nice guy. 

 

Jim was a rather uncomplicated fellow who was born in Western Canada, raised his own family there and then unexpectedly died on his own property at an age that few people ever predict to be the end.

 

The entire town went into mourning.  “Poor Jim,” they all wept.  “He was too young to die.  Who would’ve thought he would go at such a young age.  What a terrible shame!” 

 

Now I miss Jim as well.  He was an absolute sweetheart of a guy.  He’d give you the shirt off his back and do absolutely anything for you.  Not to mention he had a fabulous smile.

 

But as the community fell into a deep sea of grief, shocked by this rather blatant reminder of how fragile life really is, I decided to take a rather logical, more emotionally-detached step back from the crowd.  I began pondering the way life works and the impact that our personal choices have on it. 

 

Jim died at 42.  And yes it was indeed a shame.  But it was a shame (I believe) because he died due to a series of life choices that were made by him and that only he could control.  Jim was about fifty pounds over weight.  He drank alcohol in copious quantities and had done so since he was a teen.  He smoked cigarettes and marijuana with the same vigor and had done so forever. 

 

Jim died without a Will, without life insurance and without any savings. 

 

But what Jim died with… was a wife and 3 children under the age of 10 that were very much depending upon him and his income.  He also died with a hefty mortgage accompanied by a mountain of credit card debt. 

 

Indeed it was a shame that Jim died.  He was one heck of a nice guy.  But “His” life choices to smoke, drink to excess, eat poorly, never exercise, carry a surplus of extra weight, destroy his body and make no financial provisions for his family – devastated those he loved for years to come. 

 

But this very sad scenario happens all the time, all over the world.  And it happens because of the life choices that people make.  We make “conscious” day to day decisions that knowingly destroy our mind and body, end life prematurely and hurt the very same people who love and depend upon us! 

 

 

She’s 41 years old and the last time I saw her she weighed in at approximately 400 lbs. 

 

“Yes” she has 4 children under the age of twelve and “Yes” her massively cumbersome frame sways from side to side as she shuffles painfully from here to there.  She’s severely diabetic and has arthritis surging through her limbs.  She was recently rushed to hospital with acute chest pains fearing a deadly heart attack.  But unfortunately this scare wasn’t great enough to cause any change in this woman’s life choices. 

 

She still plays her silly games of denial drinking Diet Pepsi in public to give the persona of her losing weight and never is a morsel of food seen at her lips.  Instead she is a closet over-eater, consuming massive amounts of high fat, greasy take-out food all of which is entirely necessary to maintain such a mammoth structure.  She leaves the couch only when absolutely necessary.  She never cooks nutritious meals for her children nor does she make the slightest attempt to exercise.  She has no Will, no life insurance and no savings.  But what she does have is a mortgage and a boat load of credit card debt!

 

Last I heard she was still alive, but you don’t have to be a certified medic to safely assume that her future is not exactly bright. 

 

When she dies of heart failure due to massive obesity, the same people in the same town will also grieve this woman. 

 

“What a shame,” they will say.  “She was far too young to die!  And my-oh-my, those poor children now must live without a mother!”

 

And yes indeed it will be a shame.  It will be a shame that she died due to her own life choices. 

 

Choices that only she could make…

 

Choices that destroyed her body…

 

Conscious life choices that went on for decades that inevitably left four kids with no mom, no money and a ton of debt…

 

Choices that only she could change…    But simply chose not to!

 

 

 

She was 59 years old.  She was a running fanatic, a vegetarian and physically she was the absolute picture of health.  Yet one day without warning, she dropped to the floor in her office as her body thrashed in a tirade of violent convulsions.  She died later that day within hours of emergency brain surgery.    

 

Those who knew her quickly adopted a mindset that healthy eating and regimented fitness meant nothing, because here this woman had lived such a health oriented lifestyle and still she fell victim to deadly illness.  How on earth could this be?

 

She chose a lean, fit, healthy body instead of obesity.  She had no money worries, no children to care for, no mortgage and no consumer debt.  But what she did have was a toxic mental attitude. 

 

She had lived her entire life with intense anger pulsing through her brain.  She was a skeptic about everything and jealous of everyone.  She trusted no one and all in all she felt life had just cheated her blind!  Cheated her out of what?  I have no idea!  But the enormous chip on her shoulder was powerful enough to create some pretty nasty but natural chemicals to flow through her body.  And though it took a while, her cancerous attitude eventually won out over her supreme fitness.  The mind was far more powerful than the healthy eating or the daily exercise. 

 

Her life choice in attitude… eventually killed her!

 

At this moment in time, I hope you’re now irritated enough to want to reply to this post!  Perhaps if you send me a lecture on the complexity of addictions to alcohol, drugs, depression, overeating, over-spending, mental attitude, abuse or co-dependency then I would write the next post with more empathy for those who are still consciously making poor choices, but just can’t help themselves. 

 

But my beloved reader, you can put that lecture back on the shelf because “I’ve been there! Done that!” 

 

I write what I’ve lived.  Now I live what I write!

 

I’ve beaten more addictions in my life than you can shake a stick at!  I know intimately how difficult making positive change can be!  I struggled through each menacing situation and eventually, though at times it nearly killed me, I overcame it!

 

In an honest moment with myself I realized that many of my life choices were not good ones.  I eventually took a step outside of myself and saw that my conscious choices could devastate the very people that I love the most. 

 

Some of my choices were leading to shortening my life.  Shortening my life meant – my three children would grow up without a mom!  And “Yes” I had a mortgage.  And “Yes” at one point in time, I had a mountain of credit card debt too.  But in a quiet, honest moment with myself, the realization that I was consciously hurting my loved ones drove me to get the help that I needed. 

 

So I started losing weight.  I failed.  But then I started again!  And again!  And again!  And again!  I got off pills.  I quit smoking! I crawled out of deadly depression.  I called a halt to co-dependency and allowing abusive people to control me!  I started walking everyday even though my legs hurt so bad they buckled beneath me.  I quit drinking!  I paid off debt!  I got out of controlling, hurtful relationships!  And none of this was easy!  And I was successful at none of it the first time I tried!  In fact, a lot of this journey really sucked!

 

But it was most definitely worth it….

 

You can blame your childhood on your parents because as a child you couldn’t control the situation you were placed in.  But you can blame your adulthood on no one but yourself!  You are in control!  You make the choices that govern your life!  You are driving your own bus!

 

You have the personal power to alter any of your choices for the better “TODAY” if you want to bad enough!

 

I am so sick of people’s ridiculous worn out excuses on why they can’t lose weight! 

 

“How did you lose weight Judy?  What was your secret?” They beg for my confidential formula on getting lean and fit.

 

“Stop kidding yourself!” I snap back sharply!  “You know exactly what to do you just don’t want to bad enough!  It’s simple! Eat less and exercise more!  Put out more than you take in!  Lots of fruits and raw vegetables in your diet and get your butt off the couch and go for a walk – EVERYDAY!” 

 

That’s as complicated as it gets!  That’s what the human body was designed for.  And if you give it half a chance to function properly without all the toxic garbage that you fill it with on a daily basis and do some small degree of exercise everyday, then it will literally heal itself and drop unnecessary poundage like you wouldn’t believe! 

 

But that’s not the answer that people want to hear because it sounds like painful deprivation! 

 

Instead, they want the magic and immediate cure-all! 

 

Take this pill and the fat around your waist will disappear.  Drink this juice and your butt will reduce to half the size! 

 

That’s what they want to hear!  But what a bunch of hideous nonsense!  People know exactly what to do to clean up their lives but they just prefer not to!  Denial… Denial…. Denial!

 

But my questions to you are…

 

Who is it in your life that you are hurting? 

 

Are your life choices hurting the people that you love the most?

 

In time… will your conscious choices maybe even devastate them?

 

Are there choices that you make on a day to day basis that are maybe in need of an honest review?  Do you make poor eating or exercise choices for yourself?  Or perhaps you make poor “money” choices? 

 

As a financial advisor, I’ve sat in thousands of homes and secretly cringed at what I heard people say that they could and could not afford.  Seemingly they “could” afford the big fancy house, the cigarettes, the booze, the trips, the dope, the cars, the big screen television and the greasy take-out food.  They could afford it all of course because they’d racked up a mountain of credit card debt! 

 

But on the other hand… they couldn’t afford proper investing for the future or the appropriate life insurance that would take care of their kids in the event of their death.  Nope!  They couldn’t afford that either!

 

If you’re making crappy choices about your health then for goodness sake make financial provisions for those you love!  Seeing children financially deprived or struggling in life due to the self-centered choices of their parents makes me absolutely crazy!

 

Yes!  Making positive lifestyle change can be very difficult!  But the only difference between someone who has lost weight or quit smoking and someone who hasn’t is that the first person didn’t QUIT trying until they got it done!!  It’s not easy for anyone!

 

STOP kidding yourself!  And for goodness sake STOP blaming others!  Blame is such a feeble cop-out!

 

Only you can change your life! 

 

A future of health, love and abundance is there for the taking.  Reach out and grab it!  Get rid of the self-inflicted burdens that weigh your greatness down!  Program yourself for superb mental and physical health and you will ultimately gift those you love with it as well!

 

Love yourself… But make positive change in your life – TODAY!

 

I believe in you!  And I just know you can do it!

 

Make good choices!

 

______________________

 

Check back for a new posting every Monday.

 

2012 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

For permission to use this article, inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

 

 

A friend of mine has an outrageous passion for the game of hockey.  So much so, the average person might consider his addiction to the sport to be just a little “Over the top”.  He’d rather play hockey than breathe!  The more time he can spend in the frigid smelly arena, the happier he is.  He also loves working with kids and coaching. 

 

So after probing him with the same thought provoking questions about his Life’s Purpose, he finally admitted, “I wish I could get paid to coach hockey.  I love the game and I love working with kids.  If only I could make a living at it.  That would be so awesome!”

 

“So then why don’t you?” I asked him the same silly question.

 

Remarkably so, I got the same quick and snappy answer as I did with the first friend.  “Because I have a mortgage to pay, a wife and two kids to support and more chaos and responsibilities in my life right now than I can currently manage.  I can’t just leave it all behind and go coach hockey Judy!” 

 

“Of course you can’t!”  I agreed, as I bore a hole between his eyes with my sarcastic glare. 

 

It’s always the same answer!  People are up to their eyeballs with responsibilities to attend to and bills to pay. 

 

They feel trapped!

 

They’d love to live their Life’s Purpose but just don’t think they can get from here to there without causing a pathway of personal wreckage.

 

So once again I forced the issue.  “Maybe you don’t want to abandon your responsibilities to go coach hockey full time.  But I promise you, there is a way to transition into it slowly without affecting the rest of your life or jeopardizing your finances.  If you love working with kids and playing hockey so much then it may indeed be your Life’s Purpose!” 

 

He stared at me, hanging off each encouraging word. 

 

Transitioning from your job to your Life’s Purpose will take extra time and effort but it is definitely possible.  You’ll need to bridge the gap for a period of time.  You’ll need to do double duty.  But if you slowly start to turn in the direction of your passion and don’t make any sudden changes like quitting your job, you will begin to see it as a possibility.

 

Transitioning Into Your Life’s Purpose

 

Start off by merely visualizing your dream.  Do it often, several times a day.  Think about it constantly! 

 

Bath your mind in how much pleasure you would get out of living your Life’s Purpose everyday!

 

Ask yourself what it would feel like to get up every morning for the rest of your life and do what you absolutely love to do. 

 

Doing what you love to do while serving others at the same time is the ultimate freedom! 

 

No more punching the clock! 

 

No more working for someone else! 

 

No more wasting your precious lifetime on some menial task that under pays and barely values you! 

 

“Merely thinking” about living your dream on a full time basis and making a lucrative living at it will start the creative juices flowing. 

 

The more often you visualize it and feel the passion for it, the quicker the tools and opportunities will start to appear in your life.

 

After a long pause I added…

“Maybe to start out, you could run a summer hockey school for children in your association.  You could start out small and keep your costs down.  This would allow you to earn your first coaching pay cheque, build your confidence, establish your reputation as an expert and work the bugs out of your coaching program. 

 

It ‘ll take some time to put a business plan together and market it, but it is a low risk, safe way to get started.  You can turn slowly toward your ultimate goal of coaching full time (and getting paid for it) and still put nothing in your personal life in jeopardy.” 

 

The expression on my friend’s face at that moment was priceless.  It was like he almost believed that what I was saying was possible.  Then, just like my other friend, for a few seconds he lost himself in the dream! 

 

Baby steps in the direction of your Life’s Purpose will simply amaze you! 

 

Follow them through. 

 

Visualize every last detail of the dream and most importantly while you visualize it “Feel” how it will feel when it becomes a reality. 

 

Visualize often, many times a day.  In particular, visualize it first thing in the morning and last thing before you go off to sleep.

 

New, out of the box ideas will start to come to you on how to put it all together.  Write them down.  Then think them through. 

 

Opportunities will then make themselves available to you from out of no where.  Write them down and think them through. 

 

Take your time. Make well thought out decisions. 

 

Write up an outline of a simple business plan stating what you need to get going and how much income you will need to make it work. 

 

Where will your client base come from? 

 

What will make you different from your competitors? 

 

How will you market yourself? 

 

How can you make your business or venture recession proof? 

 

Think, think, think, think, think! 

 

Then think it all over again. 

 

Start living your dream part time. 

 

Then as it catches on, move right on into it. 

 

Take only calculated educated risks.  But at some point with enough passion and focus… presto… you will find yourself living your Life’s Purpose! 

 

You will simply amaze yourself! 

 

If my friend follows this plan without fail, he will soon be a highly sought-after hockey coach travelling across the country, coaching and encouraging children, loving life, feeling great and making a huge pay cheque!  Others have done it.  So why can’t he?  It’s not such an outrageous idea at all! 

 

As for the music studio concept (in my previous post) or whatever your passion (Life’s Purpose) is… the secret to transitioning from what your doing now into what you’d love to be doing is to turn slowly in the direction of the dream.  Make no dramatic change in your life on impulse.  Just think about it.  Fantasize about it.  Visualize it as often as you can everyday. 

 

Feel how it will feel as if it has already happened. 

 

Create a vision board.  Write about it in your journal.  Describe every detail of your venture and how it will change your life and the lives of those it will serve. 

 

Then live consciously and watch for signs of promise or opportunity to appear out of no where, like an affordable location suddenly opens up in a neighbourhood that would be perfect for the recording studio or for the nature of your business/dream. 

 

My friend might suddenly notice an advertisement for used recording equipment in the newspaper which is being sold off cheap at an auction.  These road signs will start to appear.  Watch for them.  Consider them!  After much planning and thought and when the time is right, follow them! 

 

As you become more comfortable with your dream, you will start to share your ideas with family and friends.  Sharing your dream out loud declares your intention to the universe and this gives it even more kick.  Really amazing things then start to happen as your belief in the dream becomes stronger.  Sponsors or financiers may appear out of no where wanting to give money toward the effort of encouraging young musical artists or whatever else your cause is. 

 

Doors will open once you open your mind to see them.  But you must live consciously every moment of every day in order to see the road signs that are before you directing the way to your Life’s Purpose and personal freedom.  Get out of your coma and watch for the signs!  They are there!  You just can’t see them in the hopeless mental state you are in right now. 

 

It’s wise to make a slow transition from trudging through monotony to living your Life’s Purpose… but it’s always doable with time, planning and focus! 

 

If you can dream it, you can achieve it!  Meanwhile keep growing yourself.  Nurture your body, mind and spirit with the tools available to you every single day! 

 

You must become the person you need to be in order to manage your Life’s Purpose.

 

This will likely mean that you have to change some things about yourself and in particular your mindset.  As you come to believe in your own ability, worth and magnificence, remarkable things will evolve before your eyes.

 

If you’ve taken risks before and they turned out badly, that doesn’t necessarily mean the idea or your effort was bad.  It may have been a sign that you had not yet become the person you needed to be in order to handle the venture.

 

Jim Rohn, one of my greatest mentors was challenged in his early years to make a million dollars.  But it wasn’t for the money that he was challenged.  It was for who he would have to become as a person in order to make and keep the money that he was challenged.  It was about him evolving into a wiser human being that was the quest.  The money would simply follow as a side affect of his efforts to improve himself! 

 

Thus, most people who win millions of dollars in the lottery are found to be bankrupt within the first three years of receiving the money.  Why is this?  It’s because these winners have not yet evolved themselves into being the people they need to be to properly manage such a large sum of cash.  They use their old mentality of lack and bad money management to spend it quickly, squander it or lose it because their low self-worth states they are not good enough or worthy of such a large sum of money or luxurious lifestyle.  So they subconsciously get rid of it!  It’s a natural phenomenon and it happens every day!

 

You must become the person necessary to live out your Life’s Purpose with abundance and massive success. 

 

You must be ready to handle the challenge before it will materialize.  So think big in your dreams!  But meanwhile grow yourself huge!

 

Read!  Listen!  Learn!  Insist on personal development time for yourself everyday for as many hours as you can spare.  Turn the television off!  Make your personal growth a mandatory part of your day that nothing interferes with! 

 

Then watch the magic happen!  With time, belief, positive personal change and persistence you won’t even recognize your life! 

 

You will start to “live your Life’s Purpose!”

 

Everything you can imagine… you have the ability to achieve!

 

YOU CAN DO IT!

 

 

See you back here next Monday!

 

______________________

 

Check back for a new posting every Monday.

2012 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

For permission to use this article, inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

After thousands of discussions about finding one’s “Life Purpose”, I’ve found the following exercise to be a great place for people to start searching for their own. 

 

By mentally eliminating every conceivable excuse as to why you can’t live your Life’s Purpose, (usually being lack of money) the exercise below may launch some interesting ideas about what you came to this planet to accomplish.

 

Work with me here! 

 

Put all thoughts about lack of money out of your head.  Lack of money is something that can be overcome with creativity and the right plan in place and is nothing but a lame excuse for not living your Life’s Purpose. 

 

So now let’s play… “Let’s pretend”

 

Lets pretend that last year you won $50,000,000. 

 

Since then, you’ve paid off all your debts, travelled the world, shared your wealth with family and friends and purchased everything you have ever wanted to purchase (the house, the car, the boat, the Villa in France etc.)  In fact, you’ve grown rather bored with spending money.

 

As your new found wealth has been properly invested by your financial advisor, you now never have to worry about money again nor it running out. 

 

So after all the material things have been purchased and the travelling is done, you are then told that you have exactly ten years left to live.  You are then given the exact date of your death.

 

My question to you is…

 

How will you spend the balance of your time?  

What will you do everyday for the rest of your life? 

 

Will you start a new business?  If so, what would it be specifically and why? 

 

Will you volunteer in some capacity or perhaps work with animals?

 

Will you lecture or teach? 

 

Will you work with under-privileged children? 

 

Will you start a construction company and build homes for those less fortunate? 

 

Will invent something? 

 

Will you write or produce music?

 

Think about it!

 

What will you do with the balance of your time knowing you have exactly ten years left to live? 

 

Think out of the box and remember nothing is impossible!  Write down your thoughts and be specific about every detail.

_______________________________________________

 

After completing the above exercise, how do you feel?

 

Are you pumped and excited?  Likely so!

 

So let’s move on to the next step of finding your Life’s Purpose while we consider the following…

 

• Is the project or ambition you described in the above exercise something you would love to do so much that you would lose yourself in it? 

 

• Would you lose track of time as you did it? 

 

• Does it serve others somehow? 

 

• How would you feel doing this every day for the rest of your life? 

 

• Would it empower and inspire you? 

 

• Would it make you so happy that you would work on it for hours yet end your day with an enormous surplus of energy? 

___________________________________________________________________

 

…If your answers from the above exercise have you jacked up and ready to go,

…If your project is something you would love so much, you would lose track of time, 

…If it is something that would leave you with a surplus of mental & physical energy,

…If this work serves others for the good in some way… then it just might be your Life’s Purpose.   

 

___________________________________________________________________

 

The Recording Studio…

 

While engaged in a conversation with a friend, I encouraged him to think about his Life’s Purpose. 

 

“Blow the barriers off your limiting mind chatter and think wildly outside the box!  What is your Life’s Purpose?” I probed. 

 

After a few moments of silence the most exciting expression lit up his face and I knew instantly that he’d found his answer.  He’d discovered his passion.  Sitting at that tiny table with a cold cup of coffee in his hand, my friend uncovered his Life’s Purpose which ten minutes prior he denied that he even had.

 

“Judy, I’d love to own a small recording studio.  I would hire it out to anyone, but would specifically focus on young bands and artists who are talented but could not afford to cut their own CDs.  I would donate the studio, my time and expertise to promote young musical talent and help them get started.  I would like to specifically help artists who focus on Christian music.”

 

My heart swelled with joy!  I was instantly caught up in his fantastic vision. 

 

“Very cool idea!” I acknowledged with excitement.  “I think that’s an amazing ambition.  Knowing how much you love producing your own music and what a rush you’d get from working full time in that industry, not to mention it would be your own business and you’d be helping other people!  It likely is indeed your Life’s Purpose.  It certainly meets all the criteria.  Think how many young people you could help or inspire?  That’s just fantastic!” I assured him with a nod.

 

His eyes glistened as he bathed his mind in the sensational dream.  For a few seconds, there was an unusual glow to his face and I knew he was there!  He was in the recording studio cutting a new CD with some phenomenal young talent.  He was living his Life’s Purpose in his mind even if only for a few seconds.

 

He’d been a cherished friend of mine for years.  He brimmed with talent in many areas of life, but in particular he was a gifted musician and singer.  I knew how much he loved music.  But life and its typical turmoil had gotten in the way and his dreams, like most everyone else’s had vanished.   

 

As he mentally drifted back to the table I prepared my grinding speech, hoping to drive a serious point home with him.

 

“So then why aren’t you doing it?  Why are you sacrificing years of your life working in an office where you are underpaid, overworked and hardly appreciated?  With such a magnificent dream, why are you behaving like a mouse in a maze instead of following your bliss and making that recording studio a reality?  Do you know how many fabulous young people you could help?  The world needs more beautiful music!  Why are you wasting so much time?  Why aren’t you doing it?”

 

My friend’s response was quick, loud and packed with sarcasm. 

 

“Because I have a mortgage to pay and five kids to feed!  That’s why Einstein!  Don’t be ridiculous Judy!  First of all, I don’t have the money to start a recording studio and secondly I can’t take that kind of risk with a family depending upon my income!” 

 

He chewed me out so quickly it was as if his speech had been rehearsed.  Which no doubt it had been, convincing himself over the years that his dream was an impossibility.  Every time a thought about the recording studio dared to enter his head, it was immediately pounded into submission by negative self-talk insisting that the dream would never happen.  I believe this battle had raged on in my friend’s mind for decades. 

 

I stared into his eyes as his inner voice spewed the same old monotonous garbage. I had indeed hit a nerve in this conversation and his body literally twitched as the negative self-talk shot painful jabs into his psyche.

 

“You’re not good enough!  Don’t take a risk like that!  You can’t make a go of it!  What a dumb idea!  You will fail!  Your family will starve!  You will lose your house!  Just conform!  Don’t be different!  Don’t step out of line!  Stay working in the office where it’s safe and secure. 

 And don’t worry about it… time is ticking and it’ll all be over soon!” 

 

He knew deep inside that the recording studio was indeed his passion and Life’s Purpose.  And it was stinging like hell to stir it all up again and reaffirm in his mind for the ten-thousandth time that it would never ever happen!  He was trapped in his mediocre job with its pitiful pay-check and nothing could change that!  There was NO WAY OUT of his monotonous lifestyle and he knew it!  Defeat was strewn across his face as he allowed his spectacular dream to drop from the realm of possibility and shatter on the floor once again.

 

“It’ll never happen!”  He quietly reminded himself shaking his head.

 

But the funny thing about your Life’s Purpose is… it never really goes away.  Your natural desire to fulfill it will never truly leave you.  Not ever! 

 

You may give up on it and convince yourself of its impossibility.  But it will never give up on you!

 

It’s like a love affair that’s touched you so deeply it moved you spiritually to the very core.  Your Life’s Purpose works the same way.  You will be emotionally connected and share its passion forever even if you choose not to engage it. 

 

You came into this world with a Life’s Purpose – a special talent or trait, a unique desire, a personal mission to accomplish.  You were blessed with the God given skills to give it life.  It’s why you’re here!  Whether you ever act upon it or not, it will always be sitting right beside you.  Waiting quietly.  Waiting patiently with great hope that someday you’ll make it your reality! 

 

I nodded in silence to my friend’s pessimistic outburst. 

 

“Your point is well taken!” I stated firmly.  “I understand your concerns entirely.  On one hand they are realistic, logical, rational barriers which are holding you back from the life of your dreams.  But on the other hand, they are nothing but menial excuses or just a plain old cop-out in the game of life.  For let me tell you one thing that I am certain of my friend… with a lick of creativity, a shaving of persistence and the GUTS, everything is possible in life, especially when it comes linked with the passion of being your Life’s Purpose!  In this case and in my mind there are simply no acceptable excuses not to make the recording studio a reality!  Knock off the excuses and GET GOING!”

 

I hope someday soon I’ll attend the grand opening of his new recording studio! 

 

See you back here next Monday for “Transitioning into Your Life’s Purpose”

______________________

 

Check back for a new posting every Monday.

2012 Copyright by Judy MacPherson. 

All Rights Reserved.

For permission to use this article, inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

Over the years I’ve had thousands of conversations about the meaning of life and each person’s specific role in it.  I love asking thought provoking questions about their true purpose on this planet.  But when I do, I’ve noticed that I always seem to get the same reaction. 

 

First, the person’s face turns ghostly white.  He stares at me blankly as if I’m speaking a foreign language and doesn’t understand a word of it.  Then as panic sets in, I sit back comfortably awaiting the download of excuses as to why his life is in the shape that it is.  His frantic bout of reasoning typically ends with a declaration that living his true life’s purpose is an impossible feat and that life simply is what it is. 

 

I wait for a moment while he collects himself and then I politely go for the jugular.  I smile and boldly ask   “The Big Question.” 

 

“If today was to be the very last day of your life on this planet,”  I propose.  “What would you do right now… this very minute?”

 

Inevitably, the person’s eyes fly open as he tries to digest the preposterous question. 

 

People seldom think about their own death.  They think even less about the finite number of hours they’ve been given on this planet to live, grow and give back before it’s all over. 

 

Yes!  This may be a news flash to some people, but someday we are all going to die and turn to dust.  The one thing that is certain for us all is death. 

 

It doesn’t matter who we are, how much money we have or what power we possess.  Someday we are all going to die.  Ignoring it, running or trying to hide from it may work temporarily but it’s only denial.  The end is coming.  We just don’t know when. 

 

The concept of “an end” never dawns on most people.  They act as if death only happens to someone else and that it’s something they won’t ever have to concern themselves with.  For the most part people are terrified of death and prefer to ignore the subject completely.  Turning a blind eye to the issue instead allows them to behave foolishly and squander their time as if it’ll go on forever.

 

But perhaps discussing death or at least realizing that there will be an end to life would cause them to put some degree of urgency on how they are spending or rather wasting the precious hours they’ve been given. 

 

If people knew the exact date of their death, I doubt very much they would waste precious time parked in front of the plug-in-drug watching mindless nonsense day after day. 

 

After launching the big question about the last day of life, most people are at a total loss for words.  They go silent and start searching my face for some kind of guidance, finding themselves completely unprepared to answer the question.

 

My point in these discussions is not that we should spend our precious time wallowing about our inevitable death.  My point is that we should realize that our time on this planet is finite.  It will not go on forever! 

 

So don’t waste it!  Don’t wait until it’s too late!  Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed reflecting back on how you squandered it away.  Don’t die with a long list of regrets about what you dreamed of doing but never had the guts to go after during your lifetime.   Time is a priceless endowment!   It is something that once spent can never be returned or refunded.

 

So how would you answer this question about your life?

 

“Are you spending your time, wasting your time or investing your time?”

 

Are you living the life you were meant to live or have you sold yourself out cheaply, settling for a meager existence that degrades your spiritual greatness?

 

Unfortunately most people are so caught up in the grinding monotony of life they’ve completely forgotten about their dreams, aspirations or what they’d really love to be doing with their time.

 

Others say they’d love to find their Life’s Purpose but have absolutely no idea how to do so. 

 

So if you have the interest and the guts to search for your Life’s Purpose (or in other words your Life’s Work), read on while I help you into the mindset where you just might find it. 

 

After thousands of discussions about one’s Life’s Purpose, I’ve found that the following exercise is a great place for people to start searching.  By mentally eliminating every conceivable excuse as to why it can’t be done, (usually lack of money) the exercise below can launch some interesting ideas about what you may’ve come to this planet to accomplish.

 

Work with me here! 

 

Firstly, put all thoughts about lack of money out of your head.  Lack of money is something that can be overcome with creativity and the right plan and is nothing but a lame excuse for not living your Life’s Purpose.  So push the idea of “Not having enough money” out of your mind. 

 

And now let’s play a game I like to call… “Let’s pretend”

 

Let pretend that … last year you won $50,000,000. 

 

Since then, you’ve paid off all your debts, travelled the world, shared your wealth with family and friends and purchased everything you’ve ever wandered to purchase (the house, the car, the boat, the Villa in France and whatever else was on your list of luxuries and toys).  In fact, you’ve grown rather bored of spending money.

 

The balance of your new found wealth has been properly invested by an excellent financial advisor.  So now you never have to worry about money again or it running out. 

 

Time has since passed.  You are rested and relaxed and suddenly you receive word that you have exactly ten years left to live.  You are then given the exact date of your death – ten years to the day!

 

With the knowledge that the end of your life is in sight, my question to you is…

 

How will you now spend your time? 

 

What would you love to do everyday for the rest of your life? 

 

Will you start a new business?  If so, what will it be and why? 

 

Will you volunteer in some way or work with animals?

 

Will you lecture or teach? 

 

Will you with under-privileged children? 

 

Will you start a construction company and build homes for those less fortunate? 

 

Will you invent something? 

 

Will you write or produce music?  Will you become an actor or comedian?

 

Think about it? 

 

What would you do with your time?  You have exactly ten years left to live! 

 

Think out of the box and remember nothing is impossible – Money is no object, no barrier! 

 

What would you love to do day-in and day-out for the balance of your time?

 

Write down your thoughts as they come to you.   

 

Take your time and be specific about every detail. 

 

Play with this scenario in your mind over the next week. 

 

Write down everything! 

 

Think big!

 

What would you love to do?  How would you spend your time?

 

See you back here next Monday for Part #2 of

“Finding Your Life’s Purpose”

______________________

Check back for a new posting every Monday.

2012 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

For permission to use this article, inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

What Is Life all about? 

 

 

What is The Purpose of it? 

 

 

How does a person really know if he’s heading in the right direction or doing the right thing with his life?

 

 

For decades I was lost and confused spending thousands of hours trying to make sense of these same questions. 

 

Where am I going?  What am I supposed to be doing?  What is my purpose?

 

I viewed my life of adversity as an ominous castle with thousands of empty rooms.  For what seemed like an eternity, I shuffled along each frightening corridor, fumbling my way through this colossal fortress in the dark. 

 

With my hands pressed against the walls, I searched blindly for a door handle that would lead me to some answers.  I hoped that at some point a glorious rush of light would gush through the opening and gift me with a clear and sensible direction for my life. 

 

But with each doorway I found only a tidbit, a small piece of information, just another tiny section to the puzzle of my life.   

 

Nothing seemed to make sense!    

 

Does life have no definite purpose? 

 

Are we really just sent here to live an eighty year prison sentence of unhappiness, illness and lack? 

 

Are we really all just “victims” of fate?

 

Years of aimless roaming from here to there.  Years of searching for answers and direction but finding nothing but more puzzle pieces that didn’t fit.  And all the while… time just kept ticking. 

 

What Is Life all about?  Why are we here?

 

My personal journey has been a challenging one.  My learning curve… has been a cliff! 

 

The scale of my life seemed dramatically tipped in favour of sorrow, confusion, hopelessness and loss.  The promise of love, success, fulfillment and happiness had been displaced with the other missing pieces. 

 

I couldn’t see the big picture!  I couldn’t find my purpose. 

 

Friends and acquaintances knew I was somehow different.  Onlookers admitted that my life of constant adversity had been a bit severe, a bit more unusual than most. 

 

I knew this and heartily agreed, but still I roamed the halls of the castle banging into obstacles at every turn yet hoping at some point there would be a light off in the distance.  Hoping that so many of the tough life lessons I’d experienced had been for good cause, for greater purpose than for just pain.

 

Thirty five years of a lot of dreams and goals but only partially believing that somehow, someday it would all come together.  The nagging concern that I was really just kidding myself and that I’d never amount to anything beyond what I was at that moment weighed heavy on my mind.

 

But in-spite of the black cloud of doom that consumed my life for so many years, a tiny flicker of hope lodged somewhere deep within my soul just wouldn’t let me quit.  It wouldn’t let me walk away.  It wouldn’t let me throw in the towel or forfeit the rest of the game. 

 

That tiny flicker insisted that I was born for great purpose – that I was born to lead those who are lost – that I was born to in-still hope, faith and belief in others – that I was born to participate in a massive wave of healing and enormous positive change.  And that if I just kept searching, kept shuffling along, kept opening doors and didn’t quit, one day the answers would appear.  The big picture of what I’d been searching for… “My Life’s Purpose” would appear in its entirety right before my eyes.  And only then would the reasons for so many of my struggles over the years become abundantly clear. 

 

That tiny flicker of hope promised that one day I would understand everything and then I would know exactly what do to next! 

 

What is my purpose? 

 

As promised, I can now see the big picture.

 

I’m on this planet to teach, support, guide, encourage and aid people from all scenarios and from all walks of life!  I’m here to uplift those still struggling and to encourage them to walk on.

_____________

 

In conjunction with a new success & wellness program I was developing for the homeless in my city, I was invited to take a tour of a local women’s shelter. 

 

This particular shelter was for women who were victims of domestic violence, homeless, drug addicts, prostitutes, alcoholics or just plain broke. 

 

Absorbing every detail of the tour, I listened intently as the guide explained the increasing need for various sized bedrooms.  Often times, women arrived at this save haven with their children clasp tightly in their grip with a desperate plea for safety, warmth or food. 

 

It was at that point in the tour that the guide knocked on the door at the far end of the corridor on the 2^nd floor.  Receiving no response from within, she turned the handle and swung the door open.  Expecting to see an empty room with neatly made beds, I was startled as an unnerved woman in her late 30’s stood before me.  At a glance, the woman’s face told me all I needed to know.  Her demoralized state was strewn across her brow.  Her frightened aura fluttered about the room as she gathered her child’s belongings and shoved them into a torn diaper bag.  Our unexpected visit clearly did nothing to enhance this woman’s shattered self-worth.

 

There’ve been few sights in my life that touched me so deeply they burnt themselves into my minds eye never to fade.  And that was certainly one of them. 

 

After greeting the nervous mom and excusing ourselves for the intrusion, I glanced down at her child who had been propped up in the stroller as if preparing to go for a walk.  She was a beautiful little girl dressed in a pink jumpsuit. 

 

In horror I stared at the tiny, pale face peering back at me.  I scanned the huge protruding scar that started at her left eyebrow and ended at the corner of her lips.  The horrendous gash was so violent I had to keep from weeping for the tiny victim.  Sparse blond hair then framed an expression of fear that I’ll never forget.  The confused child glanced at her mother as if to ask, “Where are we mommy?  Who are these people?”

 

I don’t know that woman’s story nor do I know her name.  But what I do know is that scene at the far end of the corridor on the second floor played over in my mind for months.  I couldn’t stop thinking about the woman’s despair.  I’ll never forget that child’s face or stop debating the mental capacity of whoever felt the need to carve her flesh.    

 

I was in the darkness for many years pleading for the right door to open – the door that would lead me to my Life’s Purpose.  And though I wanted to quit searching for it a million times, I never did.  I persisted.  For some reason, I listened to that tiny flicker of hope, choosing not to give up until I checked every single door in the castle.  I had to find the last puzzle piece, put it all together and see the “Big Picture” of my life.    

 

And I finally did!  My life’s work, my passion is now crystal clear! 

 

I vow to change that deplorable scene in the last bedroom on the 2^nd floor!

 

I vow to create such a monumental wave of healing on this planet that people who are lost, lonely, beaten down, desperate or homeless will have a new sense of hope, purpose, love and passion! 

 

It simply is…. who I am!  It’s what I suffered for.  It’s what I lived for! 

 

So my beloved reader I ask you…

 

What is your life all about?  What greatness are your past adversities leading you to?  What action should you be taking TODAY to get closer to your Life’s Purpose? 

 

How are you choosing to Live Life?  Think about it for a moment.  Are you living life… or tolerating life, merely just killing time?

 

You have great purpose on this planet.  You are here to experience life, to learn, grow, give back and to leave this world a better place. 

 

What is your gift?  What is your passion?  How can you serve others and love every minute of it?

 

Put all excuses aside!  Find your purpose… and then become it.  Live it like your life depends on it!

 

You are worthy of so much more!

Make the world a better place… And start today!

 

______________________

 

 

Check back for a new posting every Monday.

 

2012 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

 

For permission to use this article, inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

Having absolutely zero self-love, I searched outside of myself trying to seek it from everyone else.  I tried desperately to fill the gaping hole in my gut through other people.  Little did I know at the time that this was an impossibility. 

 

My thriving dysfunction blinded me from the universal truth that first you must love yourself and only then can you give, receive or find love in others.

 

It seems that society not only believes, but openly promotes that a person can have his emotional cup filled up by someone else.  Most often the things we do, wear, say or purchase are all based around seeking the approval of other people. 

 

Think about it for a minute!  Who in your life do you constantly try to impress or get approval from?  Is it your spouse, your boss, your kids, your co-workers, your neighbours, siblings or parents?  Who is it that you constantly worry about getting the big “You are okay in my book!” endorsement from? 

 

For me the key player was my father.  Every action I took in my life from managing personal issues to making career choices I did with my emotional starvation for his approval at the forefront of my mind.  However, in spite of my concentrated effort, the man died without ever filling my need.  But it wasn’t until much later in life that I learned that he couldn’t fill it.  Only I could fill this void.   

 

Once you’ve figured out who it is that you’re yearning for emotional stroking from, my first burning question to you is… Why?  Why are you reaching outside of yourself and putting value on what other people think of you?  

 

Why are you putting value on other people’s opinions of you? 

 

They don’t know who you really are!  They don’t live, think or breathe inside of you.  They don’t know your secret fears, goals or dreams.  Therefore they are most definitely not your answer.

 

My second question is…

 

Who really cares what they think anyway? 

 

Who really cares what other people think about you?  They’re opinion doesn’t matter in the slightest when you look at the big picture.  No one is an expert on you but you! 

 

I assure you, the people you so desperately seek approval from have so much of their own emotional baggage to deal with, the last thing they really have time to do is to judge you! 

 

If you are serious about making permanent change in your life, then you have absolutely no time to spend chasing after the approval of people who don’t even really like themselves.

 

Now this is great advice, but I realize that becoming independent of the opinion of others is more difficult than just turning it off.  I most heartily agree with this concern. However, the liberating gem in this message is that the more you heal your own body, mind and spirit, the more your self-love grows.  The more your self-love grows, the less you will care about what other people think of you. 

 

You will literally come to a point where you don’t even think about it anymore.  You will re-stake your claim on your beautiful natural belief system with which you will “remember” how perfect you are.  Thus the need to seek approval and love from others will simply vanish! 

 

The more you work on yourself, the quicker you will become independent of the opinions of others.  It not only won’t be a struggle or a worry anymore, judgments of you made by others will become virtually nonexistent.       

 

As the spiral of doom swirled you downward to the dark place of no hope and no dreams, so will the vine of healing and knowledge pull you back upward and reinstall everything you lost within yourself. 

 

Healing begets healing which begets healing, which begets healing. 

 

Every effort you make to change yourself for the better will build strongly upon the last. 

 

Then after a short time, you will notice that where you are now is a whole lot better than where you were back then. 

 

I constantly measure myself in the “Now” versus where I was one year ago to the day. 

 

I often think about my mental state, body image, fitness level, my successes, abundance, relationships and finances and compare them directly to where they were twelve months prior. 

 

It’s an extraordinary feeling to realize your own growth and see your efforts to change actually materialize into form in your life.

 

 

So start wherever you feel comfortable!  Pick up a book or CD that interests you and dive into it. 

 

Walking a thousand miles starts with a single step. 

You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

 

 

Wishing you love, health and prosperity at this wonderful time of year!  

 

May 2012 be the year you start taking care of yourself and  ”Get It Done!”

 

Respectfully,

 

Judy MacPherson

Author & Inspirational Speaker

What is character?

  

 

We’re all born with the potential to express it.  But few ever actually do!

 

Over the past year, I’ve come to believe that the definition of character is simply having the guts to express who you truly are at the core. 

 

It is the truth of who you came here to be.  It is having the courage, the tenacity to follow through with what you came here to accomplish during the time you were gifted with on this planet.

 

Sometimes it’s frightening. 

Sometimes it hurts. 

But character is the essence of our very soul coming to express itself in one form or another.

 ____________________________

 

Struggling with whom I was as a mother and whether I was doing the right thing by allowing my eldest child to follow his extraordinary dream was all that was cluttering my mind at that moment. 

 

The 3^rd weekend of this craziness was finally over!  We were both exhausted from the drive, the lack of sleep, the adrenaline and the stress.   And it was then, in front of a crowd of about 50 people during the closing ceremony of my son’s third Rodeo School, that he accepted his award of excellence. 

 

With his left hand severely sprained and swollen, his right thigh covered in a patchwork of scrapes and bruises, his abdomen battered with evidence of a force far stronger than he was, my 16 year old son accepted the award  then blushed and shyly stated to the crowd how grateful he was for such an amazing opportunity. 

 

My son has always been an avid achiever and an outstanding athlete.  But last fall he decided that the sports he was playing no longer satisfied his thirst for adventure and challenge.  So he hung up his goalie pads and prepared to move on to the next chapter of his life. 

 

As he left the hockey arena for the last time he calmly announced to me that “Bull-Riding” was his answer.

 

“Bull-Riding!” I exclaimed, trying to absorb what my child was saying. 

 

Most children move from one typical sport to another until they find their favourite.  But not mine!  The young man standing before me was sure that Bull Riding was where he needed to be.    

 

Hoping this was merely a passing fad, I told him that he would have to do all the research necessary to find a qualified bull-riding instructor.  Then he would have to earn enough money to cover the costs involved, which was then followed by a lengthy list of other to-do’s as I believed or at least hoped that this unusual and very dangerous ambition would quickly fade. 

 

But to my surprise, shock and horror – it didn’t!  He found the best rodeo school on the continent and quickly earned every penny he needed to get himself there.

 

You know you’re into something very different, when even the customs agents at the Canadian / USA border smile and raise an eyebrow as we cross each time and explain to them that we’re going bull-riding!

 

In February, my son attended his first rodeo school in VanWert, Ohio.  The main thing that we both learned that weekend is that nothing can properly prepare a person for the power of that first ride. 

 

My son is six feet tall.  He has zero body fat and his fitness level is exceptional.  He attended hours of instruction and lectures.  He practiced his body technique on a manual Il Toro.  He felt confident and ready but still… he was in for the shock of his life. 

 

I watched from the balcony of the bull-riding arena as my son put on his vest and helmet, then lowered himself onto the back of a massive 2000 pound creature who was more than a little anxious to get bucking.  He prepared his rope, wedged his right hand tightly into the knot, assumed the correct body position and then gave the nod to the awaiting cowboys.  Instantly they yanked the chute door open and the bull darted out bucking and kicking with absolute delight.  I held my breath as my son was then catapulted twenty feet in the air then came crashing down with his feet over his head, where he landed directly beneath the dancing bull! He instinctively rolled out, stumbled to his feet and ran to the rails.  The arena was filled with applause.  The trainer then approached with a hearty congratulations and proceeded to critique his first ride.  I on the other hand was engulfed in a full blown anxiety attack! 

 

New Caney, Texas in May was next.  More bulls, more lessons more scrapes and bruises.  The heat in Texas was searing.  The injuries that weekend were severe with 9 riders taken to hospital.  But still, my son was in his element and loved every minute of it.

 

Recently we were back in VanWert, Ohio.  But this time my son was enrolled as the only “bull-fighter” student, determined to learn the art of being a rodeo clown. 

 

Twenty five cowboys rode one hundred and twenty bulls that weekend.  My son fought every one of them alone with only his trainer from Missouri standing nearby. 

 

He was quick and agile, each time darting in to attract the bull’s attention and draw him away from the thrown rider.  His trainer told me that bull-fighting is actually safer than bull-riding.  I heaved a deep sigh and laughed! 

 

Throughout this journey my son has taught me much about life.  His levels of courage and tenacity speak for themselves.  He not only faces his fears but he conquers them!  He sets high goals for himself and then won’t quit until he achieves them. 

 

Skydiving and white water rafting were also added to his skill-set this past summer.

 

Never concerning himself with what the status quo is saying or doing, my son has shown me his strength of character.  He values each day of his life like a precious commodity. 

 

Some people have a bucket list that they say they’ll get to at some point in their life acting as if time will go on forever.  My son is living his bucket list everyday! 

 

What extraordinary character!

 

What an awesome way to live!

 

So I ask you…

 

Are you gifting the world with your true character? 

 

Are you following your dreams?

 

See you back here next Monday!

____________________________________

 

Purchase your copy of the sensational new release,

“The Remarkable Perfect You!”

A Starter’s Guide To Freedom!  A Journey Back To Your Greatness!

 

Get Yours Today!

www.judymacpherson.com

 

2011 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

 

For permission to use this article inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you look around at nature, a flower or a blade of grass is always doing one of two things. 

 

It’s either growing or it’s dying! 

 

Well it’s the same with humans. 

 

So I ask you…

 

Are you growing right now or dying?

…because there’s nothing in between.

 

 

Some people seek positive change after experiencing a tragedy or life altering event.  Others jump on-board after enduring a state of excruciating inner pain for a prolonged period of time. 

 

Positive change often takes place when the lethal drug of “Denial” no longer masks the emotional torture that has become the unvarying state of “Normal.”

 

It’s a point where choosing to take action and facing everything you’re afraid of actually appears to be the less painful option versus making no change at all.

 

It’s the point where you just can’t stand things the way they are for so-much-as a second longer! 

 

Some people eventually hit this point and make change… And some people don’t!

 

Those that do, begin an exciting journey toward all the good-stuff in life. 

 

Those that don’t, well they typically just sit there weeping and whining about how they’ve been dealt the rawest of raw deals in life.    This category of sniveling bellyachers thrives on excuses and blame as their self-inflicted hardship burrows in for the long haul. 

 

The sad part is…  even though these people know that positive change would be good for them, it’s just plain easier to sit back and play the victim, weeping and wallowing about how tough life is while a bitter chip of resentment expands upon their shoulders!

 

 

The definition of insanity is: 

 

“Doing the same thing over and over again,

but expecting different results!”

 

 

Reality Check!

 

Would you say that perhaps “You” are living in this manner – changing nothing but hoping for something more, hoping for something better? 

 

Do you still allow the same old negative tapes to play over and over in your head every moment of the day? 

 

Do you still subject yourself to the negative blather on the radio, television or in the newspaper? 

 

Do you still surround yourself with people who thrive on belittling you or yanking you down? 

 

Do you spend your precious time in the same monotonous, unproductive way day after day, year after year yet have the nerve to wonder why your life is as muddled and unfulfilling as it is?

 

“If nothing changes… then nothing changes!”

 

 

How are you spending your private time (the time when you’re not working)? 

 

Are you investing it wisely by repairing your body, mind or spirit in some way?  Or are you wasting it by plugging yourself into some electronic device all the while wishing you were somewhere else in life?

 

I find it amazing how fascinated the average person is with reality television, soap operas, professional sports and trash magazines.  These are all venues that exploit the rich, successful, exciting lives of OTHER PEOPLE! 

 

A multi-billion dollar industry thrives as average and ordinary people spend a fortune obsessing over the excitement of somebody else’s life! 

 

Come on people!  Who really cares who Jennifer Aniston is dating this week?  Why waste your precious time reading about it?  It’s nonsense!  Who really cares?  (But unfortunately… a lot of people do!)

 

Does the winner of American Idol really matter in your life if it’s not you standing up on that stage? 

 

How about “The Biggest Loser?”  Do you watch other people lose weight and care for their bodies when what you maybe should be focused on is your own?

 

Let’s face it!  Reality television can be pretty exciting.  But why?  Why does it hold the attention of so many?  Why do people arrange their schedules around television times and specific programs? 

 

It’s an epidemic!  It’s a full-blown addiction!  But why?  Why do people do it? 

 

Reality television, sporting events, soap operas and the like are all about risk taking, thrilling competition, winning, fame, money, sex, losing weight, luxury and excitement.  These programs guarantee the viewer immediate emotional gratification everytime.  Within sixty minutes and without ever breaking a sweat the viewer receives a full blown rush of exhilaration! 

 

Everyday, millions of people spend vast amounts of time inhaling this bogus form of fulfillment all in the name of entertainment.  But the truth is it’s not just entertainment for many people. 

 

It’s about seeking in someone else’s life what is lacking in your own! 

 

Millions of people live their lives through what they see on television or read in magazines!

 

It’s an easy route for most.  Why do the work for yourself?  Why go out there and get the life of your dreams for real when you can live it in your mind one hour at a time in the comfort of your own living-room? 

 

But the problem is the false sense of fulfillment and the temporary rush that it goes with it disappears as soon as you turn off the tube or close the magazine.  Then, like being sucked back through the vortex, your mediocre life and all the problems that go with it are sitting right there waiting for you. 

 

My point is…

 

The bulk of the population sits on the couch, watches television, wastes precious time, while it literally lives through the lives of the few who have the guts to really go after it! 

 

We all want to succeed!  We all want excitement, luxury and fulfillment and we all deserve it!  But most people are too afraid to go out there and get it.  They remain bound by that gaping hole, terrified of risk, ridicule and loss and therefore will remain chained deep within their rut forever. 

 

They get a quick taste of the good stuff by living through the lives of other people. 

 

How sad is that?  Wasn’t life supposed to be more?   

 

You have a choice you know!  You can watch it on television or you can live it for real.  One is easy and one is hard.  But the outcomes vary as great as the choice does.

 

It’s your choice!  Get off the couch!  Choose to go for it!  Choose to live it!

 

 

 

Now Let’s Reflect…

 

 

Reflection #1

 

If today was to be your last day alive on this planet, would you close the book of your life with immense satisfaction knowing that you accomplished everything you came to here to do?  (If not, why?) 

 

Reflection #2

 

Do you have any regrets?  If so, what are they?

 

Reflection #3

 

Has anything been left undone or incomplete in your life that you intended to accomplish by this point in time? If yes, what?

 

Reflection #4

Do you have any apologies to make?  If yes, to who and why?

  

Reflection #5

 

Do you have relationships that you would like to heal?  If yes, which ones?

  

Reflection #6

 

Have you used your time on this planet wisely?  If not, why not?

  

Reflection #7

 

Whose life have you influenced deeply for the better?

 

Reflection #8

 

How have you given back to the planet? 

  

Reflection #9

 

What specific thing will you be remembered for after you are gone?

  

 

 

Reflection #10

 

Why will people miss you after you are gone?

   

Reflection #11

 

What would you go back and do again differently if you could?

  

Reflection #12

 

What is your legacy?  What has your greatest achievement been and how many people has it impacted for the better?

 

  

Congratulations!

 

Great self-awareness! 

 

You are simply awesome!

 

See you back here next Monday!

____________________________________

 

 

Purchase your copy of the sensational new release,

“The Remarkable Perfect You!”

A Starter’s Guide To Freedom!  A Journey Back To Your Greatness!

 

Get Yours Today!

www.judymacpherson.com

 

2011 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

 

For permission to use this article inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

So… Who the hell am I anyway?

 

Clearly I’ve hit an International nerve with this article “The Gaping Hole In Your Gut!” 

 

Visits to this site have skyrocketed!  Statistics are off the charts!  Readership is at a screaming all time high!  Comments come pouring in every week by the hundreds!

 

Clearly… I’ve hit a nerve!

 

So who the hell am I anyway and what makes me so self-righteous that I can sit down and write a six week segment on the gaping hole in your gut?  Why can I so clearly outline the internal struggles of so many people by merely placing my fingers to the keyboard of this computer? 

 

Why has this article caught the attention of so many?  Why have referrals to this site spread like wild fire all over the world?

 

Who the hell am I anyway?  And how do I know what so many people are feeling inside but trying desperately to hide from public view?

 

Well let me start by first telling you who I am not!  Let’s clear that up right away!

 

I am not a doctor or psychologist.  I am not a psychiatrist or mental health specialist.  I am not a counselor or psychoanalyst.  I have never worked in the medical industry at anytime nor do I profess to have a degree or any schooled qualifications in this area by any means.  I have not studied human behavior in University!  I have not researched international statistics, economics or relationship cycles.  Not now, not ever before!

 

That is who I am not!

 

So then the question begs… “Who am I?”

 

I’ll tell you who I am and why the vicious cycle of frustration, defeat and struggle is all too familiar to me! 

 

“Who am I?” you ask.

 

I am a survivor! 

 

I lived it!  I lived it all for many years!  And on more than one occasion it nearly sucked the very life from my body!  It nearly chewed me up and spit me out for dead!

 

It was only But for the Grace of God… that instead of giving up, instead of quitting, instead of dying, when I had no strength left to fight for so much as a second longer…  from somewhere well beyond me… I found the will.  I found the desire… to survive. 

 

Then with each tiny baby-step, over-time, I not only survived it, I recovered from it and then I Beat It!  And in my humble opinion that makes me more than qualified to talk about it!

 

I didn’t read about it all in some over-priced text book in a classroom somewhere.  I experienced it first hand!  I had a front row seat in the prison of defeat, struggle and hopelessness.

 

So now I teach it.  I teach what I lived – And I live what I teach!   

 

Most people don’t make it back from a place as depraved as I was in a while ago. 

 

As my autobiography states, I was an ideal candidate for a twisted, vile, distasteful future, if I was to continue living at all. 

 

But why would I? 

 

I was nothing! 

I was worthless!

I was a waste of space! 

I was emotionally, physically and financially bankrupt!

 

The first twenty years of my life were a sadistic journey through a swamp of physical, emotional and psychological terror.  Then at twenty three years old, while my body heaved in violent convulsions of anguish and insurmountable sorrow, I poured what was left of me over the coffin of my deceased baby brother David.  He was killed at nineteen in an explosive fireball that burnt his young body beyond all recognition.  My brother’s death came with a degree of shock that to this day I don’t know how I ever survived. 

 

This excruciating wallop of grief arrived at a point in my life when I didn’t think things could get any worse!  But without delay… all hell broke loose!  And a second later… David was gone forever!

 

But man that was it!  I couldn’t take anymore!  My brother’s sudden death was the last straw in what seemed like an endless nightmare from hell!  I couldn’t take any more trauma!  I couldn’t live with any more pain.  I just didn’t have the strength.  I couldn’t pretend for another second!

 

Clinging to sides of the coffin, I wanted nothing more than to crawl inside it with him and be buried six feet under.  It was the only way I could think of to stop the emotional torture I was plagued by. 

 

That black cloud of impending doom stuck with me for a long, long time.  It wouldn’t give up the hunt.  It wouldn’t go away.  It wouldn’t leave me alone long enough to find some small degree of peace. 

 

Like the fallout from an angry volcano, I then buried the charred remains of my little brother and without hesitation the “really fun stuff began!” 

 

I was twenty-three years old.  I was completely numb to life.  I was drowning in credit card debt.  I was desperately alone, starving and damn-near homeless.  I was without love, without self-respect, without vision, without belief and without hope.  My health was deteriorating as fast as my relationships.  Every aspect of my life was a unique disaster in its own right!

 

And then one night, amid the bitter darkness of my mind, I finally arrived at the dreaded decision.  With the door locked and the phone unplugged, I sat alone in my tiny apartment and cried a lifetime of tears.  Heaving waves of grief spewed forth in remembrance of all that had happened, all the damage that’d been done.  I grieved for the childhood I’d lost, for the adolescence that was spoiled and for the adulthood I’d never know. 

 

I wept until there were no more tears to be found.  With the same song playing over and over again well into the night, I sat there calmly waiting… the moment of my intended suicide. 

 

After a lifetime of defeat and sadness I’d become a hollow empty cavern of nothingness and at that moment in the blackness of my mind, I saw no worthy reason to keep living.

 

It was the darkest night of my life!  It was the bottom of a very deep pit!     

 

My Beloved Reader…

 

Your journey in life thus far, your struggles, your adversities, your frustrations and challenges are no doubt different than mine.  But that doesn’t really matter now… does it?  It’s all relative now… isn’t it? 

 

Everybody’s “Bad” is “Bad Enough!” 

 

Everybody’s “Pain” is “Painful Enough!”

 

 

No! I’m not a doctor or a psychologist.  I’m not a counselor or therapist.

 

I am a survivor!  I fought it!  I changed my mindset!  I changed my life!  I beat the odds!  And now I’m living the dream!  And so can you! 

 

You can have it all if you want it!  You don’t have to continue as you are.  You don’t have to hurt any longer!

 

But remember… If nothing changes… then nothing changes!

 

It’s your choice!  It’s up to you! 

 

Many years ago in an honest moment of truth, I realized that what I was doing, how I was thinking, the direction I was headed in… wasn’t working! 

 

I discovered that the gaping hole in my own gut (which was caused by my lack of self-respect, lack of self-love and zero self-worth) was destroying me. 

 

It was then that the turmoil in my life pushed me to the point where I just couldn’t stand it anymore!  Something HAD TO CHANGE because I was done with the way things were!  I’d had enough!  I’d hurt for long enough!

 

So I took a risk and reached out for some new ideas on “How To Live Life.”  I started searching for a better way!  There just had to be something better than what I was doing! 

 

In my newest book release, “The Remarkable Perfect You!” (www.judymacpherson.com), I expand upon the forty-four tools that I used to repair my self-love, self-respect and heal my life forever.   

 

Admittedly, a person won’t make positive change in his life until he is darn good and ready to do so.  And I guess that’s just as it should be.  But if you are ready for positive change right now and are open to accept a new way of thinking about yourself, I congratulate you.  If you’re not, then that’s perfectly fine.  The means will be there when you are ready.

 

Like a pendulum on a clock, I swung from loathing self-hatred at the brink of suicide to a life of perfect health, prosperity, love and great abundance!  Admittedly it took a while!  But I did it and so can you!

 

I’m not a medical doctor.  I’m an experienced advocate for the wellbeing of people.  I encourage inner healing, wellness, perfect health, peace and love. 

 

I’m also a dream chaser!  And I encourage you to chase yours, for I know they are of great purpose!

 

It is my lifelong mandate, my personal calling to reach out and encourage people to overcome what ails them. 

 

I instill hope!  I install belief! 

 

Though it is certainly not my intention to give advice on specifically “How” to fix your life, (for only you will know how to do that) – like the rungs on a ladder, I stepped upon each one and when ready and able to do so, with a bit of courage, reached up for the next one that was always there ready to hold the weight of my burden. 

 

One rung at a time.  One day at a time.  One tool at a time.  And that’s how it’s done!  Sometimes it was a book to read.  Other times it was a person to speak with, a course to attend, a movie to watch, an action to take.  And all this was necessary in the building of who I believed I could be one day.

 

And in the end… it all worked! 

 

I not only survived, I rebuilt my mind, my body, my spirit, my confidence, my vision, my goals.  One tiny step after another and I literally brainwashed my mind back to believing in bountiful self-love and respect.  And then miraculously… my body healed.  The excess fat vanished.  Relationships blossomed.  Money started to flow.  Opportunities opened up everywhere!    

 

And I’m back!  I’m living the dream!  I’m capable of accomplishing anything I put my mind to!  And so are you!

 

Heal the gaping hole in your gut properly.  For real this time!

 

Life can be so ridiculously abundant and fun! 

 

I send you great love.  I send you great strength.  You are worthy of so much more!

 

Take my hand…. And I’ll show you a better way!

 

And as always…

Love yourself for you are extraordinary!

 

See you back here next Monday!

 

____________________________________

 

Purchase your copy of the sensational new release,

“The Remarkable Perfect You!”

A Starter’s Guide To Freedom!  A Journey Back To Your Greatness!

 

Get Yours Today!

www.judymacpherson.com

 

2011 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

 

For permission to use this article inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

 

 

I don’t care who you are, how much money you have, how old you are or what you do for a living. 

 

I’ve become a firm believer that every human on the planet, with the exception of very few, has some degree of emotional turmoil churning in their gut.  It’s a smoldering sort of pain that seems to develop over time.  I believe that for most people, it has ached for so long now that they’ve actually come to accept this gnawing raw feeling as normal. 

 

I believe this internal sadness develops as the devastating loss of self-respect, worth and love for oneself takes over. 

 

In my mind, it’s a nasty inner knowing that you’ve never quite reached your potential in life, never quite achieved what you were after, never followed your most precious goals and dreams through to their fruition, never demanded of life the respect, love and abundance you wholeheartedly deserve,

 

…And likely never will! 

 

Instead, you have decided to “Believe” that all the nonsense they said about you is true.  You have decided that since you’re not worthy of all the good stuff in life anyway, it’s just best to “Settle” for whatever second-rate scrapings the passage of time tosses over to you.

 

Metaphorically speaking, it’s an inner sadness, a lifelong disappointment in yourself, a gaping hole in your gut which to this day drives every decision you make. 

 

What experiences caused this loss of self-love and respect… only you will know.  How it was caused… only you will know.  When it was caused or by whom… only you will know. 

 

But fixing it by restoring yourself to a healthy level of self-love, self-respect and self-worth, in my opinion, is the only thing that will cause the gut-rot you’ve lived with for decades to finally vanish.  Learning to love and respect yourself again is the only meaningful and lasting way to repair your body, your mind, your relationships, your finances and every other aspect of your life that’s in a state of turmoil.   

 

Buying “stuff” isn’t going to fix anything!  More debt, more drugs, more diets, more trips will do nothing but add to your problems.  In fact the entire cycle I’ve described in this article, that you may or may not be caught up in, is nothing but a toxic cyclone that bit by precious little bit destroys your life! 

 

The only thing that can change it, repair it, fill it, restore it, is a dramatic change in your mind set.  A dramatic change in how you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself, how much you love yourself, as well as how much abuse you will or will not tolerate from the world around you as you move forward.

 

But please let me be clear here;

 

When I speak of restoring your self-love, I’m most definitely not referring to vanity!  I’m talking about loving yourself at the very core.  Forgiving yourself, encouraging yourself, believing in yourself, being kind to yourself.  Positive self-talk is a great place to start and is such a healthy thing.  And none of it costs a dime!

 

So it’s completely your choice!  Make change or don’t!  If you’re happy in your cesspool of fear, panic, worry, stress, disappointment and downright lack of freedom, then shut this down and move on to another website my friend because there’s plenty of them out there that will suck you into nothing but “more of the same”.

 

But if you’ve finally reached the point in life where you can’t stand the way things are for another second… Where you not only know that things must change… But are willing to start changing…  then I congratulate you!  

 

 

Embarking on a journey of self-improvement is a choice that is made when one is ready for change.  You can’t force it on a person any more than you can force someone to quit smoking.  If you are ready for positive change… then you are ready!  If you are not… then forget it!

 

Often times people make change in their life when they just can’t stand the pain of it any longer.  How about you?  Are you ready?

 

 

 

 

Something to think about…

 

I recently drove into a small plaza in the town where I live and parked alongside a dark blue pick-up truck.  I smiled as I opened my door and glanced back at the beautiful retriever that was sitting in the open box of the truck beside me. 

 

As I walked toward the door of the shop, I heard the dog whimpering softly as if he was in pain.  Feeling for the handsome canine, I turned and walked back to the open window of the pick-up to speak with the dog’s owner.

 

“Excuse me sir.  I don’t mean to be rude, but your dog is crying back there.  It sounds as if he is in pain.  Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked with concern.

 

“The dog is fine!” the owner shot back at me then turned his head away. 

 

Having been bluntly put in my place, I turned back toward the shop to carry on with my task.  I took a few steps just as the dog’s painful whimper turned into an excruciating yelp.

 

Unable to stop myself, I returned to the driver and questioned him a second time. “I’m sorry sir, but your dog is clearly in pain.  Is he alright?”

 

“I already told you lady, the dog is just fine,” he repeated with irritation. 

 

Once again I ventured toward the shop, but as I reached to open the door, the dog started howling uncontrollably with loud, agonizing shrieks.

 

Having grown angry by this point, I stomped back to the truck and glared at the driver who was sitting completely relaxed, seemingly unmoved by the state of his dog.

 

“Sir, I’m going to ask you one more time,” I stated with fury.  “What’s wrong with your dog?”

 

The driver turned his head slowly toward me and without the slightest bit of alarm he replied, “Well lady, if you really must know… the dog is in so much pain…. because he is sitting on a nail.”

 

“Sitting on a nail?” I gasped.  “Why that’s horrible!  He must be in terrible pain.  Why doesn’t he get off it?”

 

The man’s reply was simple and calmly stated, “Well, I guess he won’t get off the nail because it just isn’t hurting him enough yet…”

 

So my beloved reader…

 

How bad is your nail hurting?

 

Bad enough to get off it yet?

 

 

See you back here next Monday!

 

______________________________________________________

 

Check back for Part #6 of this article next Monday!

 

Purchase your copy of the sensational new release,

“The Remarkable Perfect You!”

A Starter’s Guide To Freedom!  A Journey Back To Your Greatness!

 

Get Yours Today!

www.judymacpherson.com

 

2011 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

 

For permission to use this article inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

 

So how about you? 

 

Is there an area of your life that could use a little attention, a little change, a little nurturing, a little honesty… a little growth?

 

So how about you?  What’s not working?  Think about it for minute! 

 

What’s next?  What desperate course of action will you take now to resolve the state of bedlam you live in?  What irrational decision is the gaping hole in your gut causing you to make this time?  And how much worse will things get because of it? 

 

If nothing changes, then nothing changes!  It’s the same path of destruction you’ve been walking on for years – And it leads to no where New! 

 

More of the same kind of thinking leads to more of the same kind of decisions, which will give you nothing but more of the same kind of results!  If nothing changes, then nothing changes!  It’s more of the same kind of stress, worry, depression, defeat and a whole lot more nasty gut-rot!

 

What area (or areas) of your life are admittedly at this moment nothing short of a train wreck? 

 

Is there a mysterious shortage of cash seemingly all the time?  Are there always bills that you can’t pay?  Are you drowning in credit card debt?  Are collectors calling your cell phone everyday now or harassing you at work?  Did you buy a home, a truck, a trailer, a car, a boat, a time-share or anything else that you blatantly could not afford but somehow convinced yourself that you could? 

 

Are your relationships nothing but adversity? 

 

How’s your health?  How many bottles of pills have you got lined up across your windowsill at this moment?  And how do you feel if you don’t gulp down a handful of assorted drugs everyday? 

 

How about your kids?  Are they physically and mentally thriving?  Or are they struggling emotionally in their own right? 

 

What’s happening in your career?  Are you advancing?  Are you fulfilled?  Are you paid what you’re worth?  Are you leaping out of bed every morning brimming with excitement because you just can’t wait to get to work? 

 

… Somehow I doubt it very much!

 

If you pause your busy life for 5 minutes, put the world on mute, are open, willing and honest and take an objective look at the problems in your life, I believe you’d be amazed at what you see. 

 

So much needless suffering!  So much pointless lack!  So much unnecessary disease and illness!  So much fear, anxiety, stress, worry and depression!  So much self-inflicted sorrow! 

 

… And so much of it didn’t need to happen! 

 

You are not a victim in life so stop kidding yourself!  The mayhem in which you live is such because you made it so!  You caused it!  You controlled it all every step of the way!  You determined in precise detail exactly what would and would not come into your life!  You may not have realized it at the time, but you consented to it all!  You invited it in!  You allowed the disaster in which you live to transpire.  You chose!  Even if that choice was to allow someone else to choose for you (a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child, a sales person, a bank manager)!  You allowed it! 

 

And if someone else does control you and make decisions for you, then that is your choice as well.  You chose to give away your freedom, to give away your personal right to chose what’s best for you. You chose to let someone else make decisions for you, on your behalf, for the betterment of your life… supposedly.    

 

And if you have allowed someone to belittle you in this manner, then somehow, somewhere along the path you came to believe that others could make better choices for you than you could make for yourself!  And in my humble opinion… that was your first mistake! 

 

Letting others do the thinking about what affects your life is a clear indication of how little self-love, self-respect and self-confidence you really have!  Nobody knows you better than you!  So how can they choose what’s best for you?  Look at the mess you’ve found yourself in because instead of believing in your own abilities…you gave away your right of choice.  You allowed yourself to be heavily influenced by people who are no where near qualified for the task of being an expert on YOU and designing your life! 

 

But whether you make your own choices or you don’t… (bringing the story full circle)… making irrational, illogical, unwise decisions, (the ones that bring nothing but more crisis, the ones that you think will somehow fill the gaping hole), likely stems from the appalling garbage you were programmed with as a child! 

 

Limiting beliefs!

 

Destructive thoughts!

 

Self-hatred!

 

Deprivation and lack!

 

Fear and insecurity!

 

Mental programming such as…

 

We can’t afford it!  There is no money!  We’re broke!  There are no jobs!  Money is the root of all evil!  Just go pick it off the money tree in the back yard! 

 

Who the hell do you think you are anyway?  You’re not going anywhere!

 

You can’t do that!  You’ll never get a job!  You’re not capable! 

 

Be careful, you might get hurt!  Be careful, you might get sick!

 

 Be careful, you might fall down!  Be careful, you might be disappointed! 

 

Real men don’t cry!  Women are delicate, fragile and dependent!

 

Don’t start the business of your dreams, you’ll go broke and lose everything! Then everyone will laugh!  Why risk it?  Play it safe!  Just get a job with a good pension & the company will take care of you! 

 

You will become a lawyer!  You will become a doctor!  You will work in the family business!  You will get married and have children!

 

You’re not smart enough!  You’re not tall enough!  You’ll never amount to anything!

 

You’re too fat, too thin, too big, too small, too fast, too slow, too old!

 

You just don’t measure up!  You’re just simply not GOOD ENOUGH!

 

 

Years of rejection!  Decades of people judging your worth!  A life time of never quite measuring-up to the standards of those who claim qualified to appraise you. 

 

You know what I’m talking about here!  This garbage came from parents, relatives, friends, coaches, teachers, religious leaders.  It came from the full range of dysfunctional people who influenced you over the years. 

 

The messages you received in the manner in which you received them may be different than mine, but one way or another we all got them!  And one way or another… sadly… we all came to believe them.  We let this garbage sink in, take form and then limit who we are and all we’re here to accomplish.

 

It was programmed by some … out of love and concern.  “Be careful, you might get hurt!  Just play it safe!  Don’t take risks!  Don’t step out on a limb or be different!  People will laugh at you!  Then you’ll be sad and disappointed when it doesn’t work out!”

 

It was programmed by others with a thirst for power and a need to dominate someone weaker.  I guess in a very sick way this behaviour made them feel better about their own worth. 

 

In my own case, fear, doubt and venomous self-hatred were programmed deeply using psychotic mental and physical abuse! 

 

But none-the-less however you got it and whomever gave it to you, it was an unrelenting stream of limiting suggestions.  Falsehoods you were brainwashed to believe as true. 

 

Let me enlighten you here…

 

If you’re told you’re a worthless piece of crap enough times over the years, YOU WILL come to believe it.  If you’re told you’re incapable or unworthy enough times over the years, YOU WILL come to believe it.  You will come to act it out!  You will come to live it!  Even though it is the furthest thing from the truth!

 

Over time, these limiting suggestions take form and warp the magnificent person you used to be.  They skew everything that you once dreamed possible!  They install a deep inner sadness, an enduring state of disappointment.  They implant fear, worry and a critical need to hide the embarrassing truth about what you now believe you are.  Incapable!  Unworthy!  Broke!  Average and Ordinary! 

 

And in the end… you settle for it.  It becomes your reality.  It becomes who you are today.  It becomes a gaping hole in your gut!  And it’ll haunt you for the rest of your life!  It’ll haunt you… until the day arrives that you finally decide to change it! 

 

This destructive conditioning of the mind takes on a power of its own.  Without a sliver of truth to it, it shapes every aspect of your life.  It controls the decisions you make as an adult.  Instead of trusting yourself, loving yourself, respecting yourself and believing you can accomplish anything, it stifles you.  It sucks the air from your lungs!  It slaughters your dreams.  It kills your desires.  And the joy, fulfillment, abundance, love and learning that you’re here to experience vanish before your very eyes. 

 

Then what you do? 

 

You submit to it of course!  And average and ordinary is exactly what you become!  You put your head down.  You step into line.  You follow the herd!  You become exactly the same as everyone else on this planet! 

 

You struggle.  You get tired.  You get sick.  And then you give up!    

 

It’s a terrible waste of time.  It’s a devastating loss of self.

 

Most people don’t even really like themselves let alone believe they have the ability to simply GO FOR IT and make their dreams come true! 

 

Though they express it in different ways, they secretly believe they’re the biggest loser in the world!  They’re the one that never measures up!  They’re the one that’s simply not as good as the rest! 

 

So what do you do then? 

 

Well my friend I’ll tell you. 

 

As the anguish in the pit of your stomach becomes unbearable, you try to ease the suffering.  But since you don’t really understand what the feeling is or how it came to be, you don’t really know how to fix it.  So you guess!  Thus the unwise, illogical, irrational decisions begin. 

 

Driven by a mental force that you don’t understand, you say, “Maybe if I buy a big fancy house I will feel better about myself.  A big fancy house will surely impress others.  And if I impress others and they think I’m rich and successful, then I’ll feel better about myself.  Right?”

 

So whether your financial situation allows it or not – You Buy!  Buy!  Buy!  Round and round you go.

 

A new house, a new truck, a new outfit, a trip to Hawaii, maybe a new relationship!  You try it all… but none of it fixes how you feel about yourself deep down inside!  None of it seems to last or truly solve the problem!

 

In spite of it all, that gaping hole still hurts!  It hasn’t gone away.

 

So what do you do next?

 

You eat more – You drink more – You smoke more – You work more – You sleep more – or you sedate yourself more to avoid feeling anything at all.

 

But still, none of it seems to work!  None of it has sorted out the mess you’re in or the unhappiness you feel.

 

I’m willing to bet that your way of thinking and the degree of which you love and respect yourself has everything to do with the problems in your life.  All of your self-inflicted sorrow stems from your level of personal worth.  It stems from who you “think” you are and are not – from what you think you’re worth or not worth. 

 

It’s all stems from the value you’ve been instilled with and come to believe as true.  One way or another, all the decisions you’ve made (both good and bad) are external expressions of what you feel you are worth.  It’s been your desperate means of filling the gaping hole and calling a halt to the pain you can no longer stand.

 

And as for your money problems…

 

If you subconsciously believe you are unworthy because somebody a long time ago told you it was so, then you likely either live in a terrible state of poverty and lack or hide behind a facade of grandeur that you really can’t afford as you to try to convince the neighbourhood of your worth.   

 

But behind closed doors… all the debt, the worry, the stress you live with every second of the day continues to remind you of your die-hard belief in that you are worth nothing and  incapable of achieving true greatness!

 

In my mind… this is the greatest tragedy of all! 

 

You are worthy of so much more!

 

Have you had enough mental anguish yet?  Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?

 

Is it time for some real change in your life and in your way of thinking?  Think about it!

 

See you back here next Monday!

 

______________________________________________________

 

Check back for Part #5 of this article next Monday!

 

Purchase your copy of the sensational new release,

“The Remarkable Perfect You!”

A Starter’s Guide To Freedom!  A Journey Back To Your Greatness!

 

Get Yours Today!

www.judymacpherson.com

 

2011 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

 

For permission to use this article inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

(Part #3)

So when all the “Stuff” just hasn’t cut-it, hasn’t changed a thing and the bank won’t lend you any more money because you’re drowning in debt… and still you don’t feel any better about yourself… what do you do next?  How do you cope?  What’s the next step?

 

What’s the next desperate course of action to fill the gaping hole in your gut?

 

Well… many people choose to go on Anti-Depressants!  After all… pills must be the answer… Right?

 

In my opinion, Anti-Depressants are often used as an ineffective strategy by which people try to cope with the mess they’ve made of their lives.  Everyday, thousands of little pills are swallowed for nothing other than to calm the emotional turmoil churning in the gut.  Somehow in people’s warn-out, exhausted minds they came to believe that taking Anti-Depressants is the only way to make things better.  They think that numbing themselves will somehow repair the disorder in their lives. 

 

Well… I’ve been there!  Done that!  A couple of times actually!  And I commit to you that filling your body with chemicals, denying, blaming, numbing and avoiding the truth does very little to repair the damage you’ve caused to yourself thus far.

 

But make no mistake about it!  Millions of people do it everyday!  Millions of people come to rely on Anti-Depressants as the only answer! 

 

But do they really work?  Do these little pills make it all go away, make it all better? 

 

They didn’t for me!  The bill collectors, the debt, the fat, the depression, the self-hatred were all still there.  For me, Anti-Depressants did nothing but delay what I really needed to face.  They just put-off what needed to be dealt with, forgiven, healed and paid.

 

So!  Now you’re drowning in debt, consumed in guilt, fear and shame, slugging around an extra sixty pounds of body fat… AND… taking Anti-Depressants just so you can get through your day! 

 

Isn’t life just a bowl of cherries! 

 

So what’s next?  What happens next on the path of self-destruction so many walk along? 

 

Well… your marriage and other treasured relationships fall apart of course!

 

Which in turn leads to what? 

 

Predictably, your kids come to feel your stress, your ongoing unhappiness.  They become confused, frustrated and then very angry.  They get downright furious about the situation you’ve placed them in. 

 

You were the adult!  You were supposed to be so wise!  You were supposed to have all the answers!  You were supposed to have it all together! 

 

But in their eyes…. and in their anger … you simply didn’t!

 

So what do your infuriated kids do next to feel better about themselves?

 

They head straight out into the big bad world to find a way to ease their own pain!  Now your kids have to find a means in which to fill the gaping hole in their own guts because the environment they were raised in was full of stress, anger, resentment, debt and materialism.  Now your kids have critical emotional needs unfulfilled!  Not to mention that because you accumulated so much debt, you’ve had to work every waking hour of your life just to keep up with the payments!  Of course this leaves virtually no time for you to spend with them!  There is no time to watch your daughter’s dance class or your son’s hockey game because you have to work.  You have time for nothing but work!  Having a casual conversation with your kid in the morning is just not a luxury that you have…. is it?  You’re just too damn busy making a living!  You’re too damn busy making payments!

 

Your kid realizes this!  So what does she do next?

 

She goes off and uses sex, drugs, cigarettes, booze, crime, over-eating, anorexia, bulimia, cutting or Heaven forbid suicide… all in an attempt to ease her own pain and feel better about herself!    

 

Do you see the vicious circle of self-destruction here? 

 

Somewhere… Somebody… Has to make it Stop!

 

So!  Now your marriage is over, your kids are in trouble, your debt-load is volcanic, you’re destroying your body with pills, you’re eighty pounds overweight and still you don’t feel any better about yourself!  Still that gaping hole in your gut exists!  But it not only exists, it hurts so badly now that it’s driving you to make even MORE of the most unwise, illogical, irrational decisions possible! 

 

So what’s next?  Your life is in the gutter and you feel worse than ever about yourself.  None of the material crap has worked.  Trips and changing cities did nothing.  Pills haven’t fixed the mess!  What’s next?  What could possibly be next?

 

Is more medication the only answer?  Is sedating yourself completely the only way out? 

 

… Some people think so!

 

So I ask you… after years of debilitating stress, worry, denial and popping pills… what happens to a person?  Where does it all lead?

 

Well one thing is for certain.  The body breaks down of course!    

 

The body is an extraordinary machine when treated with respect.  But it WILL cave to the pressure if you abuse it long enough and then disease is INEVITABLE!  You can count on it!

 

So!  Now you’re not feeling so great.  In fact you seem to be sick most of the time.  But because of your debt-load and the trouble with your kids you have no choice but to just keep on keeping on. 

 

So you do… for a short while longer.

 

Then in time you say to yourself…

 

Okay, so the first marriage didn’t work out so well. 

 

And…  I guess the bankruptcy and losing my home and truck weren’t all that humiliating.  The kids are a mess but someday they’ll pull themselves together. I’m not really feeling so great anymore but there’s nothing I can do about that. 

 

So what do I do now?  What’s next?

 

Well since you believe that none of that disaster was your fault and that there’s absolutely nothing about YOU that might need fixing or changing, you head straight out and start searching for a new partner.  Surely a new relationship is just the thing that will make you happy and fill the gaping hole in your gut!  A new partner, better than the last one is just the thing to secure your happiness!  Right?

 

But funny enough, the second marriage doesn’t turn out much different than the first.  And because you learned nothing from your previous spending habits, your financial situation is now actually worse.  And just for good measure, you’ve gained another twenty pounds which has only increased the wear and tear on your poor old body! 

 

What an unbelievable mess!  Nothing has gotten better!  No matter how hard you’ve tried over the years nothing has improved!

 

Funny how it all works aye!

 

And round and round you go!  Round and round!  Round and round!  Like a mouse in a maze!

 

So!  Let me stop this whirlwind of nonsense for a moment.  Let me toss in a small bit of personal experience and give you a piece of humble advice!

 

Here it is…

 

If nothing changes… then nothing changes!

 

If nothing changes… then nothing changes!

 

If nothing changes… then nothing changes!

 

So stop kidding yourself!  Stop denying the truth in that you may need to do some work on “YOU” before anything in your life will change or get better!

 

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results!

 

Who and what you attract into your life and who and what you’re attracted to, whether it be positive or negative, loving and supportive or abusive is in direct correlation to who you are at that moment and the degree of which you love and respect yourself! 

 

(Please read the above paragraph again out loud to yourself three more times right now!)  It is critical that you understand it!

 

I have a friend in his mid-forties whose marriage crumbled about five years ago.  He was traumatized by the event but chose to take no blame for the demise.  So instead of doing some soul searching, some self-improvement or taking the time to heal and rethink things, he went on a frenzied search to find a new partner.  Desperation hardly describes my friend’s behaviour over the past five years.  He’s an anxious groom-in-waiting searching for a bride-that-will-settle-for-him as he is now.  But over time, his prospects haven’t gotten any brighter.  He’s changed nothing about himself since his divorce and yet he wonders why women don’t hang around him long.

 

Every three months there’s a new woman in his life, a new candidate for marriage.  But three months seems to be the limit.  Every one of them bail-out and want nothing further to do with him.  He wants a wife so badly that it almost seems like it doesn’t matter who it is as long as he’s not alone anymore. 

 

He moved the last woman into his house within weeks of the relationship starting.  His internal logic was… If he moves her in immediately and they live together, then it would be more difficult or at least more complicated for her to leave him when the time came.  But leave him she did!  Almost three months to the day!

 

This man “wants what he wants” but refuses to change anything about himself to get it.  He refuses to fix the gaping hole in his gut first!  He refuses to take the time to heal and restore his very low level of self-love and self-respect.  He refuses to take responsibility for the less than endearing aspects of his personality.  After all, the long list of failed relationships isn’t his fault!  There’s nothing about him that needs fix’n!    

 

“I just haven’t found the Right woman yet!”  He boasts with confidence. 

 

And he’ll keep up this ridiculous behaviour.  He’ll keep losing partners and he’ll keep living alone all because he refuses to work on himself first!  He refuses to change the things about himself that women find so repulsive.  He refuses to fill that gaping hole in his gut, heal his inner pain and restore what he lost as a child!  If only he’d fix the hole properly then the perfect partner would appear.

 

Yes he’s my friend and he’s a nice guy, but if nothing changes… then nothing changes!

 

He’ll keep trapping’em and they’ll keep running.  Round and round he’ll go until the day arrives that he finally gets it.  He has to change himself first.  He has to start loving himself, respecting himself, healing himself from the past… before he’ll attract the “Right” partner or any of the other good stuff into his life!

 

So how about you? 

 

Is there an area of your life that could use a little attention, a little change, a little nurturing, a little honesty… a little growth?

 

So how about you?   What’s not working?  What’s next?  Think about it! 

 

See you back here next Monday!

 

______________________________________________________

 

Check back for Part #4 of this article next Monday!

 

Purchase your copy of the sensational new release,

“The Remarkable Perfect You!”

A Starter’s Guide To Freedom!  A Journey Back To Your Greatness!

 

Get Yours Today!

www.judymacpherson.com

 

2011 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

 

For permission to use this article inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

Buy!  Buy!  Buy!  More and more stuff! 

 

How many unwise, illogical, irrational decisions have you made in the past all in an attempt to feel better about yourself? 

 

If I BUY more I’ll feel better.

 

If I EAT more I’ll feel better.

 

If I DRINK more booze or SMOKE more cigarettes I’ll feel better about myself

 

…or to be honest… at the very least… I’ll escape from who I am and where I am for a short while longer.

 

Trips and geographical changes are also used to ease the suffering. 

 

Sit on the beach in Maui for two weeks, bake in the sun and enjoy fabulous frozen drinks with umbrellas sticking out them and surely you’ll feel better about that gaping hole in your gut.  Surely just “Getting away from it all” is the answer!

 

Have a lovely time on the beach… because inevitably when you get home from that very expensive trip, that raw aching feeling in your gut will be right there where you left it!  It’ll greet you at the door, assume a comfortable position in the pit of your stomach and resume its disturbance with that same old familiar ache of an important, yet still unfulfilled emotional need! 

 

Some people actually move from province to province or state to state convincing themselves that a geographical change is the cure all.  Surely a new town, a new state, a new country is the answer!  Or so they want to believe!

 

But I commit to you my beloved reader…

“Wherever YOU are… There YOU are!” 

 

Your place of residence may change, your furniture, your car, your clothing may change, your hair style and colour may change… but at the end of the day none of this matters because none of this works!

 

Wherever you go and whatever silly game you want to play to pretend it doesn’t hurt and however long you want to hide behind that thick crusted wall of denial before you face the truth… You’re still stuck with YOU!  You’re still stuck with who YOU are and all that YOU believe YOU are not! 

 

You’re still stuck with those antiquated warn-out beliefs that you bought into about yourself as being true decades ago!  You bought into them as being true because somebody older who claimed to be wiser said they was so.  But my kind and loving friend listen to me closely… You were an innocent, impressionable child back then… and they were all lies!  They were debilitating, demeaning, destructive lies and to this day they hold you back from the life of your dreams.  To this day they drive every decision you make for yourself in every aspect of your life!  To this day they remain as the hollow, gaping hole in your gut! 

And to this day it still hurts!

 

You were perfect when you came into this world!  And you are perfect now!  You just have to convince yourself of this!

 

No big fancy house, car, trip or piece of clothing will truly change the way you feel about yourself at the core.  They may offer a temporary lift for a short period of time, but sooner or later that missing chunk, that part that was stolen, that value that you bought into and placed upon yourself a long time ago will haunt you once again.  It’ll haunt you until you stop the merry-go-round of craziness! 

 

Stop living with the lethal drug of denial and FIX THE GAPING HOLE PROPERLY!  Fix it once and for all… and then get on with the life of your dreams!  Return to your own personal greatness! 

 

There are thousands of ways that people try to mask or escape what they’re feeling inside, what they’re feeling about themselves, what they believe their value to be or their capabilities are.

 

But I commit to you – None of these methods can fill the gaping hole in your gut.  Not a better truck, a bigger home, a new outfit or a Gucci handbag!  Not a cigarette, a bottle of whiskey or a box of donuts!  Not a television show or a new electronic!  None of this stuff fixes that nagging, empty feeling in your gut.  None of it will heal the part of you that’s missing.  Not now!  Not in the future!  Not Ever! 

But people keep trying it anyway. 

 

Why do you think “Diets” don’t work? 

 

In my humble opinion they don’t work because “Eating” simply isn’t the core issue.  Overeating is not the underlying problem in the person’s life any more than Overspending is.  Overeating or under-eating is just the means by which people try to avoid, hide behind or alleviate the pain they’re feeling, the lowly measurement of themselves or more clearly… what they feel they’re worth. 

 

If a person truly loves and values himself at the core and has a healthy self-esteem with a healthy sense of significance, contribution and worth, then he knows the value of his body and treats it with the utmost respect.  He feeds it good, wholesome, healthy foods in the exact quantity that it requires… nothing more and nothing less!  And in return his body responds with vitality, energy, fitness, lack of disease and zest for life!  It’s the way the body was designed to behave!  It’s how it’s supposed to function! 

 

But so often now due to low self-esteem, zero personal worth and a host of other negative beliefs about the self, the body is no longer treated as the temple of life or the place in which your spirit dwells.  It is trashed on a daily basis!  It’s considered nothing more than a dilapidated shed subject to severe and unreasonable abuse!  It is fed nothing but garbage in gluttonous quantities.  It’s deprived of daily exercise and proper time to rest, heal and restore.  It’s driven by all the negative aspects of life that the media constantly bombards us with.  Then we have the nerve to act surprised when disease or rapid unnatural aging sets in and steals the precious time we have left!

 

All of this!  Everyday!  For years!  And we wonder why Cancer and other horrible diseases are running ramped through our bodies and across the globe!

 

It’s not about controlling your food portions!  It’s about the gaping hole in your gut!  It’s about fixing what’s really broken here!  It’s about learning to love yourself again!  It’s about coming to respect and honour who you are, what you’re here for and all you have to contribute to the lives of others! 

 

If you learn to love and respect yourself as you did in the beginning… the weight will fall off, the body will heal and the life you’ve been desperately searching for will commence.

 

Tell me honestly, does it in some rational logical way make sense to you why so many humans on this planet… Spend more money than they make?   Does that make sense to you?

 

Does it make sense to you why so many people feel it necessary to… Eat three times the amount of food that their bodies actually need to sustain life?  Does that make sense to you?

 

Why do we eat eight donuts instead of one? 

 

Why do we drink six cans of cola instead of eight glasses of water? 

 

Why do we take on a $600 / month loan payment on a $50,000 pick-up truck when we already can’t pay the bills that we have?

 

Why do we do this?  Why do we think “More is better?”  Why do we believe that “More will somehow fix how we feel about ourselves?” 

 

Does any of this make rationale sense to you?

 

Not likely… but people still do it!

 

Maybe, just maybe… these behaviours are just the off-shoots, the external expressions of inner personal pain? 

 

And if this is the case, then does it mean that overspending, obesity, anorexia, alcoholism, drug addiction, abuse, crime, poverty, depression and debt are just the external expressions of very intense inner pain and self-hatred? 

 

Maybe… Just maybe!

 

And if this is so… then does it make sense that if we turn the self-hatred back into self-love and self-respect then will it all disappear? 

 

I’m willing to bet it will!

 

_______________________________

 

After a long period of time, some people eventually come to realize that their irrational behaviour of overspending, overeating, overdrinking, over-drugging or moving to a new place did nothing more than give them temporary or sporadic relief from the gaping hole.  It offered a brief emotional lift, a quick rush of exhilaration.  But did it fix who they are or the degree of which they love and respect themselves? 

 

No!  

 

As reality set in, like a sugar-high, they came crashing down to earth feeling worse about themselves than they did before they bought the item, ate the donut, drank the whiskey or took the drugs.

 

So when all the “stuff” just hasn’t cut-it, hasn’t changed a thing and the bank simply won’t lend you any more money to buy anything else that you can’t afford because you’re already drowning in debt… and still you don’t feel any better about yourself… what do you do next?  How do you cope?  What’s the next step?

 

What’s the next desperate course of action that a person takes to fill the gaping hole in his gut?

 

______________________________________________________

 

 

Check back for Part #3 of this article next Monday!

 

 

Purchase your copy of the sensational new release,

“The Remarkable Perfect You!”

A Starter’s Guide To Freedom!  A Journey Back To Your Greatness!

 

Get Yours Today!

www.judymacpherson.com

 

2011 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

 

For permission to use this article inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

 

How big is the gaping hole in your gut? 

 

You know what I mean.  I’m talking about that empty, nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that lingers on with the sole purpose of reminding you that some aspect of your life remains unfulfilled. 

 

Maybe that pestering hole came from never seeking the approval of a parent back when you were a child.  Maybe it came from deprivation when you were a teenager, only knowing lack, never excelling at anything in particular, never feeling as good as the rest of them. 

 

It could be a million different things that caused that irritating cavern in your gut way back when.  But now as an adult you’ve found that this nasty feeling has done nothing over the years but fester into a hollow aching aspect of Who you are in life … Where you are in life … and…  ALL that you feel you are not! 

 

How raw is the enormous hole in your gut? 

 

Has it hurt so much for so long that you don’t even feel the sting of it anymore? 

 

Have you lived with it for so many years that you’ve accepted the pain as what you now consider normal?

 

At one point in your life, a forlorn emptiness affixed itself to the pit of your stomach.  And in my humble opinion this is the direct result of an important emotional need that to this day remains unfulfilled.    

 

Taking an honest moment with yourself, you just might realize that this decayed cavity of discontent now dictates and directs just about everything you do as an adult.  It seems to take over your psyche and most times causes you to make some of the most unwise, illogical, irrational decisions possible. 

 

You arrived on this planet as a perfect human being. 

 

In the beginning… you loved yourself unconditionally!   You had a divine appreciation and respect for who you were and all that you were here to accomplish and learn. 

 

But through times of dysfunctional programming, likely as a child, something went askew.  Something happened (or perhaps many things happened) that over time convinced you that you were just kidding yourself.  In no way should you consider yourself perfect and whole.  In fact, (they told you) you should actually “Fear” most things in life and that living in a constant state of “Doubt” about yourself was not only socially acceptable but mandatory if you intended to blend into society at all. 

 

Yes!  Some thing or some one (a long time ago) caused you uncertainty about an aspect of yourself!  Whatever it was that happened or was said to you… whether it was logical or not… You then bought into it as being the truth!

 

You may feel confident in some areas of life, but in others… something’s been stolen… and to this day has never been found. 

 

So what do people do to compensate for this missing chunk of their soul?  How do they escape the nagging emptiness in their gut?

 

They pretend of course!

 

Like an ongoing game of charades, you find yourself acting out the role of a successful well balanced adult even though it’s not even close to how you really feel.  But still… you do your best to convince the world that nothing’s missing and you’ve got your act together!

 

You may portrait yourself as the perfect parent because after all… you and your kids have the best clothes that money can buy! 

 

Your house is the biggest on the street.  Spotless and meticulously decorated it’s sure to impress the entourage of people you feel the need to entertain each week. 

 

But is this enough?  Does expensive clothing and a beautiful home fill the gaping hole in your gut?

 

No!  Of course not! 

 

Expensive clothes and a pretentious house aren’t enough to make you feel better!  So what do you do then? 

 

Well… You buy more of course! 

 

Surely MORE is the answer! Surely MORE will make you feel better about yourself! 

 

So shortly after the purchase of the massive house, a new 2012 pick-up truck gleams like a trophy in the driveway for all to admire as they pass. 

 

But is this enough?  Does expensive clothing, a beautiful home and a new truck fill the gaping hole in your gut?

 

No!  Of course not! 

 

Surprisingly… none of this has worked!  None of this has filled the empty hole!  None of this has made you truly feel better about yourself and your own worth!  So what do you do then? 

 

Well… You buy more of course!  Surely MORE stuff is the answer! 

 

So you buy more!  And then you buy more after that!  And then you buy more and more after that! 

 

You rationalize to yourself…

 

• Maybe a big screen television will make me feel better about myself because everyone will think I am rich! 

 

• Maybe a home theatre system will do it!  I’ll look very successful then!

 

• Maybe a trip to Hawaii is the answer!  Neighbours will be jealous of me for sure!

 

• Maybe if my kid plays AAA hockey, then everyone will know how great I am!

 

And on… and on… and on this insanity goes!

 

You eventually stumble through the front door of your beautiful home in a state of pure exhaustion.  You drop your leather jacket and Gucci hand-bag on the table as you pass.

 

You flop in front of your computer hoping to read an email that will brighten your day but instead receive an urgent alert from your bank manager.  Your chest tightens as you roll your eyes in disgust knowing it’s the 5^th urgent alert from the bank this month.  But you’ve ignored them all!  Stressed and embarrassed you cast profanity at the screen behaving as if it’s the bank’s fault that you haven’t paid your bills and not your own. 

 

You hold your breath as you force yourself to open the email.  Plunging into a full-blown anxiety attack the gaping hole in your gut starts to hemorrhage as you read the words. 

 

Final Notice!

 Make your past-due mortgage payments immediately or we will foreclose on the house!

 

______________________________

 

How common this scenario is today! 

 

Please let me clarify something…

 

A big house full of new furniture with an expensive truck in the driveway hardly means the family living there is rich or has a ton of cash!  It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re successful in life.  It doesn’t mean they are better than you, that they love who they are or they have done everything right. 

 

More often than not it just means that they signed their name on the dotted line… again! 

 

More loans!  More credit cards!  More unnecessary debt!  More expenses they can’t afford but take on in an effort to try to feel better about themselves… to try to feel greater worth, more esteemed, more secure, more respected.  They’re still trying to fill that gaping hole!  But they never will in this manner because you just can’t fill it with stuff!  They fool no one but themselves!

 

The very interesting and all too common part of this scenario is that the financial pit that people dig themselves into as described above isn’t usually due to a job loss.  The extreme shortage of cash in their lives isn’t usually due to an unexpected illness or death in the family.

 

It is typically due to their ongoing and desperate attempt to fill the empty hole in their gut, to find what’s missing in their lives, to feel belief, love and respect for themselves again.  And they think they can do it with stuff! 

 

Buy!  Buy!  Buy!  More and more stuff! 

 

How many unwise, illogical, irrational decisions have you made in the past all in an attempt to feel better about yourself? 

 

If I BUY more I’ll feel better.

 

If I EAT more I’ll feel better.

 

If I DRINK more booze or SMOKE more cigarettes I’ll feel better about myself

 

…or at the very least… I’ll escape from who I am and where I am for a little while longer!

 

Check back for Part #2 of this article next Monday!

______________________________________________________

 

 

Purchase your copy of the sensational new release,

“The Remarkable Perfect You!”

A Starter’s Guide To Freedom!  A Journey Back To Your Greatness!

 

Get Yours Today!

www.judymacpherson.com

 

2011 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

 

For permission to use this article inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

Have you been brainwashed to lose in life? 

 

More often than not, children at a young age are literally brainwashed into thinking a certain way about themselves. 

 

Through a process called Heterosuggestion children are bombarded with comments, ideas and statements made to them by other people. 

 

In a healthy functional home, a child hears positive, affirming messages promoting the glory of who he is and all he will accomplish during his lifetime.  This child is programmed to believe he’s an extraordinary human being and that life has no limits.  He’s assured that the world is an unlimited oyster of opportunity and with the right attitude he can accomplish anything.    

 

But in a less than ideal home, which seems to be the vast majority, the child is repeatedly told of his impending failure in life.  He’s lovingly programmed that he has no special traits or talents and that his dreams are nothing but idle nonsense. 

 

Over time, the child comes to believe that he’ll never rise above what his parents are and that a lifetime of average and ordinary is what he has to look forward to. 

 

Grow up.  Get a job.  Get married.  Have a couple kids.  Spend more than you make.  Leverage yourself to the hilt!  And then stress and worry about your mounting debt load until the day your body caves in to the pressure!

 

It’s who we’ve become as a society!

 

With this type of caustic programming, a mediocre life, just scraping by with a body full of disease is the child’s inevitable future. 

 

Most times this harmful brainwashing is implanted without intended harm.  Merely passing along their own dysfunction, parents instill their warped beliefs and worries into the young, impressionable people they love the most.  They tell their kids to take the road that everyone travels, for it is safest, easiest and most predictable.  Don’t be different.  Don’t step out of the box.  I don’t know why… But just don’t!      

 

But mom!  I really want to be an astronaut when I grow up!

 

Sorry honey, but…

 

• You’re not smart enough!
• You’re too tall!
• You’re too short!
• You can’t do that!
• You don’t have the money!
• You’ll never amount to anything!
• What if you can’t find a job!
• You’re too fat, too ugly, too slow!
• You’re a loser!

 

In cases of violence, abuse, poverty, abandonment or neglect, the heterosuggestion to a child can be much worse, much more dramatic.  Violent gang members for example also came into this world for great purpose, to learn, to strive, to achieve.  So what happened to them?  How did things go so terribly wrong? 

 

They were brainwashed to lose of course!  Just like everyone else!

 

Horrible, degrading, debilitating comments were instilled in the fragile minds of these otherwise extraordinary people.  They were programmed very young to believe that they were not worthy of all the good stuff that everyone else had.  So they presumed that the only way to obtain self-worth, significance, respect, love and material treasures was to use force, violence or thievery.  They were robbed of their self-esteem, their worth and their dreams as infants and thus came to believe that to get any of it at all back they had no choice but to cheat the system. 

 

So who did the brainwashing in your life?  Who messed with your mind as a child?  Did you grow up with positive mental conditioning or are you the same as most and have completely lost site of who you really are and what you came here to accomplish?  How has the mental programming you received affected your life up to this moment?

 

Are you living the dream?  Are you earning an above average income doing exactly what makes you happiest?  Are you leaping out of bed each morning brimming with anticipation for the day ahead?  Are you surrounded by people who constantly push you up and encourage you to live life to its fullest?  Are you debt free and independently wealthy enjoying a life of luxury and abundance?

 

If you answered “Yes” to the above questions then I congratulate you.  You can consider yourself a minority!

 

Every morning I enjoy my coffee in the comfort of my home office.  Glancing out the window, I watch the steady stream of people back out of their driveway, rush their children to daycare and then make a bee-line straight to the jobs that they hate. 

 

Off to the Rat-Race they go! 

 

Gotta earn a buck!  Gotta pay the bills!  The cupboard’s as empty as the bank account!  The kids are driving me crazy!  I feel completely nauseous!  My spouse is an idiot!  And if the mortgage bounces again the bank will foreclose!

 

Does this sound like anyone you might know?

 

The majority of adults work their entire life at jobs they hate only to earn just enough money to retire and pay to care for the stress induced illnesses they acquired from working in that same environment.

 

Why does one person build a multi-million dollar business and live in a mansion and another doesn’t? 

 

… Mental programming of course!

 

Why does one person enjoy healthy fulfilling relationships and another doesn’t?

 

… Mental programming of course!

 

Why does one person live debt free, invest wisely and travel the world in luxury and another doesn’t?

 

… Mental programming of course!

 

So were you programmed to win or programmed to lose?  Were you brainwashed to live the life of your dreams or brainwashed to live out your own worst nightmare?

 

In my mind there are three things to do! 

 

• Analyze what kind of mental programming you were subject to as a child and what you now believe about yourself to be true.  Are you a loser or a champion?  Are you a risk-taker, an adventurer or frightened of your own shadow?

 

• Decide if this destructive programming has won out and stolen your life?  Have you come to believe and act out exactly what “they” said you would?

 

Do you live on Mediocre Lane?  Do you work at “Stuck-In-A-Rut” industries?

 

• Take action!  Make change!  Reprogram yourself back to believing in your greatness.  If negative suggestions got you into your average and ordinary lifestyle, then positive suggestions can get you out.

 

If you were brainwashed to lose the game of life, you can now reprogram yourself to win?  The power of your subconscious mind is extraordinary.  It will believe and act out whatever you submit to it.

 

You can have a better life.  You can have health, money, fulfillment, abundance and loving relationships!

 

Why are you letting old, false statements about yourself run your life?  Who cares what other people think or say!  The only opinion that matters in your life is yours!

 

So if you were brainwashed to be mediocre at best, to stand in line with the herd and wait your turn all the while knowing there’s not enough good stuff in life left over to go around, then you can now change your believes to success and abundance!

 

We can program our children to win!  We can program ourselves to change, to live in perfect health, to have a ton of cash and only know fulfillment, peace and happiness.  We can program our minds right now, at this moment, to know nothing but the good stuff!

 

YOU BET WE CAN!

 

You are worthy of so much more!  Dig through the limiting beliefs about yourself.  Cast them aside as nonsense and program yourself for success! 

 

If you can believe it… You can achieve it!

 

Life was meant to be so much more!

 

 

Recommended reading:  The Power of the Subconscious Mind – by Dr. Joseph Murphy.

 

_______________________________________

 

Purchase your copy of the sensational new release,

“The Remarkable Perfect You!”

A Starter’s Guide To Freedom!  A Journey Back To Your Greatness!

 

Get Yours Today!

www.judymacpherson.com

 

2011 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

 

For permission to use this article inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who is the bully in your life? 

 

 

Who is it that discourages everything you do? 

 

 

Whose approval do you strive to achieve everyday but will probably never get? 

 

 

Who is it that seems to take great satisfaction out of verbally pounding you into submission?

 

 

Question:   What is a bully?

Answer:     An aggressive person who intimidates or mistreats weaker people

 

Bullies usually first introduce themselves and their disapproving behavior in the school yard as children who feel the need to dominate over others.    

 

But unfortunately that’s not where they stay.  In fact, bullies can be found in all stages of life.  They come young and old, male and female and in a vast array of interesting shapes and sizes. 

 

These insecure creatures hide in the crevices of life.  Their mission is to shatter dreams, wreak havoc with emotion and cause others to feel inferior. 

 

Bullies can be found in the hockey arena disguised as coaches, the ballet studio disguised as instructors, the corporate world disguised as bosses, the small business world disguised as owners or owner’s wives.  These tormented souls present themselves as teachers, friends, coaches, peers, associates, parents and spouses. 

 

The sole ambition of a bully is to terrorize you into submission.  Devices of intimidation and fear are used to detract you from your goals, deter you from moving forward. 

 

Bullies may strike at you physically, but more often will torment you verbally with repeated comments demeaning your ability and self-worth.  Power, control and submission are the name of the game! 

 

By the third volleyball game at my son’s school, I’d finally caught on to the coach’s destructive strategy.  It was hard to keep from watching his pathetic antics as he stomped back and forth along the bench shouting humiliating comments at the thirteen year old kids on the team.  The dynamics were fascinating.  The angrier he got, the worse the kids played.  A kid would miss the ball.  His face flushed with fear and he’d glance to see his coach shake his head and roll his eyes in disgust.

 

I did my best to support my son’s wilting self-esteem after being repeatedly chewed out by a coach who in essence was a well educated, well paid, professional bully. 

 

A week later I drove to the school where the next game was to be held.  I wished the six kids in my van good luck and waited for them to disembark.  But not one of them moved from their seat.   

 

“I don’t want to get out Mrs. MacPherson.  I don’t want to play volleyball anymore!”

 

The shattered group of teens had been stripped of their will to play ball by a dead-beat-bully of a teacher who hid in the educational system. 

 

Hearing this… I’d had enough!  It was that day that as a parent, I put an end to that teacher bullying children – at least within the school system. 

 

 

Why is it that some of the most dysfunctional people on the planet are those found in the school system? 

 

Think about it for a moment… some of the most emotionally screwed up humans in the country are those who influence our children on a day to day basis.  How frightening is that?  And we wonder why the problems in the world escalate generation after generation!

 

Whether they use mental tactics of warfare or physical… I have a real problem with bullies!

 

I hate when adults bully children, when bosses bully staff, when coaches bully athletes.  I hate when churches bully parishioners and when countries bully their people.  

 

As children we were all subject to commentary and discipline from people which caused doubt about ourselves and our abilities.  Sometimes this damage came from teachers.  Sometimes it came from parents, siblings, friends, coaches or others in authority over us. 

 

Having reached a point in life where I now have very few fears, I find it interesting to study the behaviour of bullies.  I’m intrigued as to why they need to dominate someone else.  I’m amazed at the rush they get feeling superior to others. 

 

But the truth is that bullies are cowards.  They are insecure, tormented individuals.  They often surround themselves with barrage of other insecure people because they don’t have the guts to stand alone. 

 

I was 25 years old and worked in the marketing department of a major corporation in Toronto.  The day came when my boss was promoted and replaced. 

 

As feared, the new guy came strolling around the corner in a well pressed pin-stripped suit, with an ego so big there was barely enough space in the room for me. 

 

The days passed and his condescending remarks meant to remind me of my lowly place in life, grew increasingly demeaning.

 

Then finally, he crossed the imaginary line that ran between my diminished self-esteem and the job – And instantly… I was done taking his crap!  He would bully me no longer!  I packed my things, wished him well and left the building.

 

Bullies are masters of manipulation.  They mess with your mind.  They convince you that you have no better option other than to put up with their garbage behaviour. 

 

You’ll never make another team! 

 

You’ll never get another job! 

 

You’ll be blackballed! 

 

No one else will love you!

 

You’ll never find someone else who’ll put up with you! 

 

You’ll starve if you leave me!

 

I’ve heard it all before!  Have you?

 

Another form of bullying is the explicit use of guilt and silence.  I knew a man in his ninety’s who bullied his wife until the day he died.  But he didn’t use physical force or yelling.  He used silence and guilt to power over her!    

 

The bully in your life suppresses you and squashes your dreams because she is afraid.  She is simply terrified that you might do something great, make a fortune or live a life filled with joy, love and abundance.  The mere thought of you succeeding and her “not” causes her to feel inferior.  She feels a loss of power and control.  So she grabs you by the shirt tail and holds tightly.  Every time you try to launch yourself to a new place in life, a new job, a new business, a new relationship, every time you try to better yourself, every time you polish your tarnished self-esteem and try to make a run for it, she yanks you back down into the pit of despair you’ve been stuck in for years… right alongside her.  She’s a failure in life and wants you right beside her in her misery.

 

I wish I had a magic wand with which I could reach out and touch your shoulder to erase the damage done to you by the bullies in your life. 

 

After being battered about, I finally learned that the only way to deal with a bully is to shove right back.  The time finally came when I stopped allowing others to treat me badly.  No longer would I permit others to belittle me or stomp on my dreams. 

 

We are on this planet to experience life – Not succumb to it or be suppressed by anyone! 

 

Is there a bully in your life?

 

Perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate who you spend your time with.  Are your family members supportive and encouraging?  Is your boss appreciative and excited about your future with the company?  Are you paid a fair wage for your effort?  Does your circle of friends boost your confidence and self-esteem on an ongoing basis?  What about your spouse and your kids?  Do they encourage you to “Be-All-You-Can-Be?”

 

Or do any one of these people bully you, demean you and suck the wind out of your sails?

 

Make a well thought out plan for your future.  Take the necessary precautions according to your individual situation.  Start celebrating your own greatness!  The more you build up your own self-esteem the less power the bully in your life will have over you!

 

Take back control of your life.

 

You are worthy of the very best and were never meant to be someones doormat! 

 

Teach the world how you want to be treated!  And it will respond accordingly!

 

_______________________________________

 

Purchase your copy of the sensational new release,

“The Remarkable Perfect You!”

A Starter’s Guide To Freedom!  A Journey Back To Your Greatness!

 

Get Yours Today!

www.judymacpherson.com

 

2011 Copyright by Judy MacPherson.  All Rights Reserved.

For permission to use this article inquire by email to:  gatecove@judymacpherson.com